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Author Topic: Playing together  (Read 4120 times)
Marilyn (ABSENTMINDED)
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Last Login:February 06, 2013, 08:12:28 pm
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Religion: free-flowing animist, Dudeist Priest
TCN ID: Absentminded
Posts: 2725


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« Reply #6: September 05, 2008, 03:05:36 pm »

If you use aggressive words, like I do sometimes, you can really offend without meaning to.

I can generally avoid being offended by such if I give myself time for a simple mental/verbal semantic exercise.  I make three copies, in my head or on paper, depending on time-of-reaction constraints.  One is with aggressive language intact or made worse, one is with all such words given the 'nicest' possible substitutions, and the third is with all words exchanged with neutral cognates.

If there is no way to insert a good or neutral variant, then I go ahead and take offense.  If I want to be annoying I respond clearly to the 'sugared-up' version.  And if I'm interested in keeping the communication going, I respond to the neutral version with neutrality of my own.

I think of it as results-oriented communication, and I'm pretty good at not having accidents of understanding.  Not perfect, of course, and sometimes I intentionally respond to nice or neutral language with aggressive, but that is a character flaw, not an accident. Cheesy

Absent
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"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard

Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

L Cohen

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