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Author Topic: Mentors  (Read 4782 times)
Keysofknowledge.com
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« Topic Start: April 16, 2007, 08:17:35 am »

When you are first start learning about the craft, you should always try to read as much as you can and learn everything. It does help to have a mentor to explain the things you have read about and may of course have plenty of questions.

As a rule, mentors are not suppose to guide some one who is just coming into the craft into one directed path, unless that person is wanting to learn just one path.

A good mentor will know that a new person is still feeling their way and it is something that the new comer will have to discover inside themselves which path or direction is right for them. I think it is awful when mentors take new people and teach them just one path, when they are still seeking and learning the basics of the craft.  This will make a new comer ignorant towards all other paths and closed minded.

Has anyone else come across mentors like this or people who were mentored one way?
« Last Edit: April 16, 2007, 08:44:33 am by RandallS, Reason: Blank lines added between paragraphs » Logged

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queen_hathor
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« Reply #1: April 16, 2007, 09:51:45 am »

Has anyone else come across mentors like this or people who were mentored one way?

No I haven't, but if anyone wants to volunteer to help guide me I'm open to it (even though it's probably very difficult on the net!)
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HeartShadow - Cutethulhu
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« Reply #2: April 16, 2007, 10:01:54 am »

As a rule, mentors are not suppose to guide some one who is just coming into the craft into one directed path, unless that person is wanting to learn just one path.

I'm awfully confused by this statement.

Who made this rule?  Why should we follow it?  What happens if we don't?

I know one religion well enough to guide in it.  And that's FlameKeeping.  if someone comes to me for information, I can either direct them to someone else, or talk to them about FlameKeeping.  I can't help with other things.  I'd assume most people are similar on that.

That might be what you want in a mentor, but what motivation is there for the mentor to be this paragon of virtue?
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« Reply #3: April 16, 2007, 10:10:08 am »

No I haven't, but if anyone wants to volunteer to help guide me I'm open to it (even though it's probably very difficult on the net!)

It can be, or it can be no more difficult than offline mentoring, depending on what the person being mentored is trying to learn, I think.  But you want to be careful and not just jump into the arms of the first person who comes along and offers to mentor you.  Check up on them carefully, even if they seem trustworthy...  Because, you know, you don't know us.  We could all be awful horrible people who will teach you lots of bad information and things that could hurt you badly, for all you know.  Wink  (Now, I don't think we actually have any really bad people here--but, again, you don't know that, you just got here.)

Same goes for offline mentoring, of course, but I think the Net has its own particular pitfalls that can make it a bit more dangerous than offline.  (And I'm one of those people who will rant for HOURS about how you can so have a meaningful connection with someone you've only met through a forum or whatever, and how the Net isn't evil and all that.  But even I have to admit that it's easier to be deceptive via plain text, where there aren't any nonverbal cues that can give you away, and that you do have to be careful.)

Anyway.  Sorry, I got a little bit rambly there.  I just get a little alarmed when I see someone issue an open invitation like that and I feel I have to say something.  Wink
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« Reply #4: April 16, 2007, 10:15:51 am »

(Now, I don't think we actually have any really bad people here--

Probably not, but in my experience the occult includes a lot of messed up people with huge egos who want disciples. I agree it's very dangerous indeed to just accept a mentor without having come to know and trust them; and better still if they come highly recommended by others that you trust.
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« Reply #5: April 16, 2007, 10:48:55 am »

(And I'm one of those people who will rant for HOURS about how you can so have a meaningful connection with someone you've only met through a forum or whatever, and how the Net isn't evil and all that.  

Totally OT but... you wouldn't believe me if I told you, star Wink
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« Reply #6: April 16, 2007, 10:50:13 am »

Probably not, but in my experience the occult includes a lot of messed up people with huge egos who want disciples. I agree it's very dangerous indeed to just accept a mentor without having come to know and trust them; and better still if they come highly recommended by others that you trust.
Comes down to taking precautions and being careful, whether online or off really... people are people, good and bad, no matter where they are.
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« Reply #7: April 16, 2007, 11:27:24 am »

I just get a little alarmed when I see someone issue an open invitation like that and I feel I have to say something.  Wink

Maybe I didn't word that one very well!! I was meaning that I'm not averse to the idea, not that I was throwing an invitation to anyone who wants to take it. That'll teach me to think before I type Shocked lol. I was thinking more along the lines of getting clarification on something I've read, or maybe looking for a different opinion. I'm not going to hang of someone's every word or owt like that. Unfortunately there are some who would, and that's a very sad thing  Angry

Comes down to taking precautions and being careful, whether online or off really... people are people, good and bad, no matter where they are.

Very true. I'm not the kind of person who trusts easily so I may be a bit more wary than some.

*Note to self* Make sure you know what you want to say before you type...it'll save you having to explain yourself, especially when people are being nice & trying to help you!!  Undecided LOL

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« Reply #8: April 16, 2007, 12:19:43 pm »


As a rule, mentors are not suppose to guide some one who is just coming into the craft into one directed path, unless that person is wanting to learn just one path.

If someone comes to me, Im probably not even going to be itnerested in teaching.  If I am, I'll stick to what I know, and that's Chaos/ Ceremonial magic.  If that isnt what they want, they can go elsewhere.  I dont feel under any obligation to comply to unwritten standards. Smiley
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« Reply #9: April 16, 2007, 01:31:37 pm »

Probably not, but in my experience the occult includes a lot of messed up people with huge egos who want disciples. I agree it's very dangerous indeed to just accept a mentor without having come to know and trust them; and better still if they come highly recommended by others that you trust.

I think there is a lot to be said for choosing your playground and playmates carefully. 
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« Reply #10: April 16, 2007, 01:43:25 pm »

I think there is a lot to be said for choosing your playground and playmates carefully. 

I agree. Me and my son only ever go to those playgrounds with rubberised tarmac these days, and we don't get on the swings with people who look mean.

 Wink
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Mandi
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« Reply #11: April 16, 2007, 01:45:17 pm »

When you are first start learning about the craft, you should always try to read as much as you can and learn everything. It does help to have a mentor to explain the things you have read about and may of course have plenty of questions.

As a rule, mentors are not suppose to guide some one who is just coming into the craft into one directed path, unless that person is wanting to learn just one path.

A good mentor will know that a new person is still feeling their way and it is something that the new comer will have to discover inside themselves which path or direction is right for them. I think it is awful when mentors take new people and teach them just one path, when they are still seeking and learning the basics of the craft.  This will make a new comer ignorant towards all other paths and closed minded.

Has anyone else come across mentors like this or people who were mentored one way?

I don't go in for the 'guiding others to their inner light' school of mentoring.  It reminds me of leading someone around a dark room by the nose, while explaining to them that the furniture they are stumbling over is only in their imagination and when they truly understand this, you'll turn on the light and show them the literal furniture.

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I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
Jorgath
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« Reply #12: April 16, 2007, 02:03:42 pm »

When you are first start learning about the craft, you should always try to read as much as you can and learn everything. It does help to have a mentor to explain the things you have read about and may of course have plenty of questions.

As a rule, mentors are not suppose to guide some one who is just coming into the craft into one directed path, unless that person is wanting to learn just one path.

A good mentor will know that a new person is still feeling their way and it is something that the new comer will have to discover inside themselves which path or direction is right for them. I think it is awful when mentors take new people and teach them just one path, when they are still seeking and learning the basics of the craft.  This will make a new comer ignorant towards all other paths and closed minded.

Has anyone else come across mentors like this or people who were mentored one way?

I disagree completely.  A mentor is supposed to teach you what they know.  If they know one religion, they should teach you it.  However, a good mentor will also not present their teachings as the be-all and end-all of what there is to be taught.

Why limit yourself to only one mentor at a time, anyways?  In college in the US, we take three to five classes a semester, and many are unrelated or not obviously related.  I know in the UK it's done differently, but that seems far safer for someone who already knows what they want.  If you know what you want, you should seek a teacher who teaches what you want to learn.  If you don't, you should seek several teachers who teach what you think you might be interested in.  Speaking as a jack-of-all-trades type person, I still want a given subject to be taught to me by an expert, not a dabbler.
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« Reply #13: April 16, 2007, 06:17:28 pm »

As a rule, mentors are not suppose to guide some one who is just coming into the craft into one directed path, unless that person is wanting to learn just one path.

Where is this rule from? I've been in the Pagan community in the US for over 30 years now and I don't think I've ever heard it. A mentor would be expected to teach what he/she knows and most people are only expert in their own path.

Quote
I think it is awful when mentors take new people and teach them just one path, when they are still seeking and learning the basics of the craft.  This will make a new comer ignorant towards all other paths and closed minded.

I had a lot of teachers in high school and college who only taught their subject. The fact that my English history prof did not also teach chemistry, calculus and philosophy did not inhibit me from learning these other subjects.
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« Reply #14: April 16, 2007, 08:18:58 pm »

I disagree completely.  A mentor is supposed to teach you what they know.  If they know one religion, they should teach you it.  However, a good mentor will also not present their teachings as the be-all and end-all of what there is to be taught.

It strikes me that maybe this is what the OP meant.  Not so much that a mentor ought to try to teach anything but their area of expertise, but that they shouldn't try to force that worldview on new and inexperienced seekers.  A good mentor should at least let seekers know that there are other ideas out there, and maybe point them in a general direction for better information.

Am I on target there Laura?  Is that what you meant to get across?
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