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Author Topic: ease of mind and protection  (Read 2398 times)
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« Topic Start: January 08, 2009, 01:51:03 pm »

Ok I guess this will be a bit of a story first.  I had supposed friends that always picked on me, and enjoyed punching me a stuff because I never did anything about it.  well lets see... on tuesday these supposed friends decided to perform "again" a duber on me (this is when one person sits to your left and the other to your right" and at the same time start to punch you like crazy! well I was going to have none of that.  I kept avoiding them during study hall, and they where herasing me.  well they left to hind in the bathroom, so when class ended I walked out, and their they come from out of the bathroom and get me up against a wall and begin to start the whole punching thing....... so I decked him the face and gave him a really nasty black eye.  I got suspended on tuesday (lucky principal is on my side) and was made to go home... snow day one wendsday, so I had to stay home today also, and will be going in on friday for in school suspension.... this old friend has already threatened my life and is holding a grudge... he is one of those kids that brings friends along to beat people up.... so I am a little nervous on what he will do... and I have been restless for days! Embarrassed  I just ask for energy for protection and a ease of mind in this situation.
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« Reply #1: January 08, 2009, 03:09:32 pm »



Holy cow, those are some crappy friends!

Have you told the principal, your parents, or any other adult that he has made threats on you life?  Do you feel these are serious threats?  If so you may want to have a police report filed.  That way there is a history in case of future events that may require police action.

Hopefully though, they were just being normal jerks and will leave you alone since you stood up for yourself.  Congratulations of giving him a black eye!  I'm not saying it's cool to deck people but you were only defending yourself.  I think a days suspension was worth it.  You refused to be his victim and that is awesome.  I've met some people who needed to be given a black eye back in grade school and unfortunately, never got one and continue to be jerks.  Roll Eyes

I hope things go okay tomorrow.
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« Reply #2: January 08, 2009, 03:19:01 pm »


Thanks.  I told my dad and he wants to call the principal but I wont let him.... he is supposedly a blood but I dont think he is going to really try and threaten my life in that way.... I think its just smack talk, but I do believe he wants to cause some sort of harm to me lol.
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« Reply #3: January 08, 2009, 04:01:36 pm »



I'd make two suggestions:

a) It's worth talking about this.  Even if the principal doesn't take any overt action, I'm sure the school would rather know about a threat.  If I ws running the place, I'd want all the intel I could get. Smiley

b) Have you thought about taking up a martial art?  It sounds like you can take care of yourself to an extent, but it can't hurt to develop further skills.  I know it made me feel a lot more confident after I was assaulted at work.
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« Reply #4: January 08, 2009, 04:07:07 pm »

I'd make two suggestions:

a) It's worth talking about this.  Even if the principal doesn't take any overt action, I'm sure the school would rather know about a threat.  If I ws running the place, I'd want all the intel I could get. Smiley
hmmm I might tell them.... when I get back tomorrow I will be able to see how serious he was about it all.

Quote
b) Have you thought about taking up a martial art?  It sounds like you can take care of yourself to an extent, but it can't hurt to develop further skills.  I know it made me feel a lot more confident after I was assaulted at work.
Martial arts really sound like something I would love to do.  We have a "dojo" or what ever its called right here in my town  Smiley  only as a kinda fat kid lol it may seem a little intimidating lol.
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« Reply #5: January 08, 2009, 05:10:18 pm »

a) It's worth talking about this.  Even if the principal doesn't take any overt action, I'm sure the school would rather know about a threat.  If I ws running the place, I'd want all the intel I could get. Smiley

Exactly. Trust me, the administration (assuming they're any good at their jobs at all) would much rather know things like this sooner than later. I hear the administrators I work with say this all the time.

Among other things, it means they can talk to you about anything that might help (a change in schedule so you wouldn't be free at the same times, knowing which teacher's rooms would have someone around so you wouldn't be cornered alone, etc.)

People can't help if they don't know what's going on.

Quote
b) Have you thought about taking up a martial art?  It sounds like you can take care of yourself to an extent, but it can't hurt to develop further skills.  I know it made me feel a lot more confident after I was assaulted at work.

And even if you don't get very good at whatever art it is - a lot of the basic training helps you learn how to move and interact more confidently (and in a good dojo, how to defuse situations and tension before they get as far as fighting.) All of those are fantastic things.
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« Reply #6: January 08, 2009, 05:49:51 pm »



And even if you don't get very good at whatever art it is - a lot of the basic training helps you learn how to move and interact more confidently (and in a good dojo, how to defuse situations and tension before they get as far as fighting.) All of those are fantastic things.

I cant remember what kind of art or fighting style this is called but its where you don't fight... you just use techniques to kinda throw their body around using their own force.  I cant remember what its called tho.
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« Reply #7: January 08, 2009, 08:02:31 pm »

I cant remember what kind of art or fighting style this is called but its where you don't fight... you just use techniques to kinda throw their body around using their own force.  I cant remember what its called tho.

Are you thinking of aikido? Tai chi also has some elements of this (and it's often seen as a very defensive art)
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« Reply #8: January 08, 2009, 08:58:06 pm »

Martial arts really sound like something I would love to do.  We have a "dojo" or what ever its called right here in my town  Smiley  only as a kinda fat kid lol it may seem a little intimidating lol.

My hubby's a third degree black belt in Hapkido (which is another one of those "let their own momentum work for you" kinds of things, IIRC) and a second degree in Taekwondo.  I love him to death, and I don't want you to think I'm insulting him here, but he's a bit on the heavy side if I'm honest.  He knows a guy who runs his own dojo in a town south of here who, last I saw him, was rather on the portly side.  The point here is:  Not everyone involved in martial arts is going to be all lean and fit and stuff.  It might be worth visiting the dojo (maybe see if they'll let you sit in on a class, or even participate--the one Hubby goes to will let you have one or two "sample classes" free) just to see if it's really as bad as you think it is.
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« Reply #9: January 09, 2009, 06:00:20 am »

Martial arts really sound like something I would love to do.  We have a "dojo" or what ever its called right here in my town  Smiley  only as a kinda fat kid lol it may seem a little intimidating lol.

Well, I can only go by your self assessment as I don't know you, but...

1) Unless the people at the dojo are asses, they will probably try and make you feel comfortable.  Really the biggest step is forcing yourself to start.  (If you have any friends who would be interested in going with you, that can help keep you committed)
2) Exercise is a pretty good way to trim up.  That'd help with health and confidence, but that's kinda beside the point here I guess.
3) You do not need to be slim and amazingly dextrous to learn martial arts.  Sure, that helps...  but I'm not the skinniest, and I started training in my mid twenties, so I'm not even all that flexible etc.  I can't do some amazingly impressive stuff like crescent kicks, but for the stuff you'd use out on the street?  It's all about technique, balance, etc.
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« Reply #10: January 10, 2009, 09:08:11 pm »

I cant remember what kind of art or fighting style this is called but its where you don't fight... you just use techniques to kinda throw their body around using their own force.  I cant remember what its called tho.

When my son took Judo lessons at the YMCA it was taught as a self-defense class. It was also very inexpensive and kids of all shapes and sizes were there.

Most schools now have anti-bullying policies. Please check into what your schools policies are in that area. And I think you need to stop thinking of these guys as your friends. It might be good to get involved in some activites outside of school to widen your friendship circles.  A self-defense class might be a good place to start to meet some new people.

Best of luck to you.

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« Reply #11: January 10, 2009, 10:41:40 pm »

hmmm I might tell them.... when I get back tomorrow I will be able to see how serious he was about it all.
Martial arts really sound like something I would love to do.  We have a "dojo" or what ever its called right here in my town  Smiley  only as a kinda fat kid lol it may seem a little intimidating lol.

I second Jennett's suggestion that it might be aikido. I have old friends who studied that art in the mid- to late-80's and they were very specific about telling us that it was defensive, using the attacker's body and momentum against himself, etc.

My daughters are all taking kyuki-do. Two of them are quite slender; my own daughter (the other two are my "bonus" or step-children) is *big.* They're all doing very well, they all love it, and I can say that at least in my blood-daughter's case she's gotten new confidence in herself. Don't let your size stop you. (One of the students--the father of one of the boys in the class--has to be 6'4" and about 350. And the kids can throw him. Heh.)
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« Reply #12: January 11, 2009, 05:02:59 am »

Good you're trying to get out of the situation! I wish you the best success.

The first thing I would do is to try to get a teacher you trust or can talk to easily to support you. He/she could talk to collegues in charge or give you advice because he/she probably knows how this thing is handled at your school and which steps you should take.

Martial arts is good to help you get more self confidence and prevent violence in the first place because you appear less like an easy victim. But a few weeks of training won't make a Jackie Chan out of you. So I would go for it for the long run, but not expect it to help you straight away to give other people (who might deserve it) a trashing. It's a much better focus for practice to improve yourself and prevent/end a fight the best way you can than trying to be the victor and pay people back who have hurt you. (Because if you are stronger than them in body and character you don't need to give them a trashing to prove it.)

I've once called the police and didn't found them as helpful as I had hoped. Maybe they don't take 18 year old girls seriously (especially if there are no others to testify for you). But they did make an appointment with the guy who hit and threatened me. From what I heard he just got a speech from them. So I don't expect much of the police, but still think it's worth a try if you can't solve the problem with the involved parties in the first place.
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« Reply #13: January 18, 2009, 03:06:18 am »

Ok I guess this will be a bit of a story first.  I had supposed friends that always picked on me, and enjoyed punching me a stuff because I never did anything about it.  well lets see... on tuesday these supposed friends decided to perform "again" a duber on me (this is when one person sits to your left and the other to your right" and at the same time start to punch you like crazy! well I was going to have none of that.  I kept avoiding them during study hall, and they where herasing me.  well they left to hind in the bathroom, so when class ended I walked out, and their they come from out of the bathroom and get me up against a wall and begin to start the whole punching thing....... so I decked him the face and gave him a really nasty black eye.  I got suspended on tuesday (lucky principal is on my side) and was made to go home... snow day one wendsday, so I had to stay home today also, and will be going in on friday for in school suspension.... this old friend has already threatened my life and is holding a grudge... he is one of those kids that brings friends along to beat people up.... so I am a little nervous on what he will do... and I have been restless for days! Embarrassed  I just ask for energy for protection and a ease of mind in this situation.

I send you prayers and energy, hopefully some protection as well. However, you need to take the mundane steps to ease your suffering. You should talk to your parents, principal, or other trusted adult who happens to be in authority. This kind of bullying is not to be ignored. Especially if someone is threatening your life. This kind of violence does not need to be ignored. Please be sure to take care of yourself, because no matter how many people send you prayers, energy, and protection, it will not work if you do not take the mundane steps to procur your own safety.
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« Reply #14: January 19, 2009, 11:23:17 am »


When it comes to life threatening situations, you shouldn't keep this to yourself. I agree with the others here that you'd best discuss this with the authorities, you parents or even the principal. Learning a martial art such as judo helps considerably (it did my son, who had similar problems in middle school).

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and meditations. 
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