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Author Topic: The Coming Out Topic  (Read 14657 times)
Aster Breo
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Last Login:January 29, 2013, 09:32:22 pm
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Religion: Feral Brighideach
TCN ID: Aster Breo
Posts: 5260


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« Reply #1: January 09, 2009, 12:22:10 am »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

1.  My household currently includes my husband, our two teenage daughters, and my parents (and 8 cats and a dog, but I don't think they care about my spirituality  Wink ) (oh, and my daughter's boyfriend is here so much, he might as well live here  Cheesy ). 

My husband, daughters, and the boyfriend are well aware that I'm pagan.  My older daughter was interested in paganism for a while, and did some of her own reading, primarily on Wicca, so she knows a bit about my beliefs.  My younger daughter doesn't know very much and couldn't care less.  My husband knows the most, but doesn't seem to care one way or the other.  We discuss it occasionally, usually when I bring the subject up.  Boyfriend knows whatever Daughter1 has told him, and whatever he's picked up from just hanging around.  We've never talked about it, but I would if he wanted to.

My parents are a completely different story.  I have not told them anything -- except that, now that I think about it, I think I might have told my mom that Daughter1 and I were going to "pagan camp" last summer, but she probably assumed I was going with Daughter1, rather than the other way around.  Cheesy

If either of my parents asked, I would not lie to them.  I would probably first try to dodge the question, but I would answer if they pursued.  Mostly, I worry about hurting them.  They are both lay leaders in their church and my brother and sister-in-law are both ministers.  So, yeah, they're very religious.  I think they would worry about my eternal fate, if I told them, and I don't want them to worry.

My brother and SIL live far away and I never talk to them.  I haven't talked to my brother in years.  I would definitely tell him I'm pagan -- but only to annoy him.   Wink

2.  I don't really remember "coming out" to my family.  They've just sorta always understood that I do some stuff they don't do and it's a spiritual thing.  No real "coming out" so no particular reaction.

3.  N/A

4.  I'm adding a question:  Have you told your friends, and how did they react?

I have told only one of my non-pagan friends.  Shortly after I got one of my tattoos, one of my best friends asked me if there was any meaning to it.  I sidestepped the question.  Then I felt terrible about not being honest with him, so I emailed him and explained the meaning of that tattoo -- which was especially spiritually related.  He basically just said, "Oh, cool."  It's never come up since.

My other close friends have never asked about my tattoos, or my spirituality, or anything like that.  That is probably because we've known each other since high school, so they probably think they know everything about me.  Cheesy  If we ever did talk about spirituality, I would tell them anything they wanted to know.  Who knows, one of them might have gone pagan, too.   Wink

One area where I would be especially careful is in the work place.  I have been close enough to co-workers to feel I could trust them with that kind of personal info.  Those few people have always been fine with it.  But I would not want to just go around telling anyone -- especially bosses.  And if asked, I would probably tell them they were crossing a legal line by asking, and leave it there.
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