The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum (Archive Board)
May 11, 2021, 09:37:21 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: This is our Read Only Archive Board (closed to posting July 2011). Join our new vBulletin board!
 
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
May 11, 2021, 09:37:21 am

Login with username, password and session length
Donate!
The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.
TC Staff
Important Information about this Archive Board
This message board is The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum's SMF Archive Board. It is closed to new memberships and to posting, but there are over 250,000 messages here that you can still search and read -- many full of interesting and useful information. (This board was open from February 2007 through June 2011).

Our new vBulletin discussion board is located at http://www.ecauldron.com/forum/ -- if you would like to participate in discussions like those you see here, please visit our new vBulletin message board, register an account and join in our discussions. We hope you will find the information in this message archive useful and will consider joining us on our new board.
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5   Go Down
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
Author Topic: The Coming Out Topic  (Read 22059 times)
CrinklyBlue
Senior Apprentice
**
Last Login:September 02, 2010, 01:10:37 am
United States United States

Religion: Animist
Posts: 65

Blog entries (0)

Kerian.Nox BandedNagini


Ignore
« Reply #15: January 09, 2009, 01:55:32 pm »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?
Not completely. My family knows that I have stepped away from formal Christianity. I no longer attend church, etc. They think that I'm back to indifferent Christian-ish like the rest of the family. My (11yo) daughter knows a bit more, that I no longer follow Christian teaching. But I haven't told her how far I've gone.

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?
After explaining to my daughter, that I couldn't ask her to follow a faith that I, myself, have questions with, she understood. I told her that I'd rather she explore religions for herself, and decide for herself what to believe, rather than just tell her that she has to be a certain faith or else. The idea confused her for a few days, but she came back later and thanked me for allowing her that freedom.

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?
I probably won't say anything for the next couple of years. The idea of being anything other than Christian-ish is anathema. I also need to make sure that my sacred items are well out of arms reach before I say anything. Most of my family consider anything sacred as a target to be mishandled. Yes, they like to provoke, how could you tell?

4. I'm adding a question:  Have you told your friends, and how did they react?
Most of my friends are pagan, and so have been very encouraging. The others range from academic indifference to humorous acceptance. I've gotten responses from "Visions are the way the subconscious forces the conscious to confront internal conflicts." to "You're not going to start human sacrifices? Shucks, I wanted to help."
Logged

Welcome, Guest!
You will need to register and/or login to participate in our discussions.

Read our Rules and Policies and the Quoting Guidelines.

Help Fund Our Server? Donate to Lyricfox's Cancer Fund?

Butterfly30
Apprentice
**
Last Login:January 20, 2010, 02:33:54 pm
United States United States

Religion: Spiritual
Posts: 24


Every day is an adventure

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #16: January 09, 2009, 03:21:06 pm »

I am guessing most of us here were not born into Pagan families, so most of us have had to face the question of whether or not to tell our families and friends, and if so, how. So, a few questions:

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

For me, I have not told my family I've decided to be a Pagan. I've discussed some of my beliefs to them, but mostly the ones related to how the environment should be treated.  I have told my mom I know a few people who indentify themselves as Pagans, and when I told her, she didn't know what that meant, or even that there was such a thing, in the 21st century western world, as a Pagan. (My parents are not only Christians, but also missionaries. So telling them I converted to another religion might not go over so well. They were disappointed enough when I announced I was agnostic 8 years ago. And somehow I think they'd take it harder if I announced I was a polytheist than if I announced I was Jewish, for instance.)

Another reason I have not told my family is because I have not chosen my path yet or which deities I will work with. I know they will have a lot of questions and I do not feel well equipt to answer them at this point.

Will I tell them eventually?  I don't know. Right now, I'm not ready. It's an important enough part of my life that I wish I could share it with them. I know that if I do make contact with a deity and really connect with him or her, I will be very excited about it, and it will be disappointing not being able to share it with some of the most important people in my life. But it would also be disappointing sharing it with someone who thinks it's either silly or just plain evil.

1. I have tried in the past when I was still searching, had a few discussions that I felt very passionate about, that was also my feminist phase and even discussed Wicca when I had an interest, but all that did was get my mother worried about me(less so from my dad) because of my tendencies to obsess and my mother was thinking I'd get in too far and not know reality from fantasy. That was then and I have found the path that I am just beginning to walk with baby steps. None of my friends know. I don't talk about these things with family because I don't want anyone to worry...all everyone I knows is Catholic, that was what I was raised in. I have actually talked a little with my favorite aunt in the past when I was trying out UU. But I don't feel comfortable discussing my beliefs with really anyone outside the web. I am shy and sometimes actually I don't know when to shut up and get all huffy about it or flustered.
3. No I probably never will, come out, because like some have already said, it's personal and it's no one else's business but my own. I let them think what they want to think of me as being Catholic. There really is no need to rock the boat. Great questions by the way Cheesy
Logged

Always learning and growing
Juniper
Adept Member
*****
*
Last Login:January 06, 2011, 05:33:35 pm
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Religion: Hedgewitch with Neo-Wiccan leanings
TCN ID: Juniper
Posts: 1742


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #17: January 09, 2009, 04:18:48 pm »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

My husband knows that I'm Pagan, although the extent of what he knows is probably not much. He knows that I revere a Goddess, as sometimes She is mentioned around him before I really think about what I'm saying. He knows that I celebrate the Seasonal Cycle- but only because he looks forward to all the seasonal feasts I prepare! He also knows I practice magic, as I don't try and hide any of my books. They're in plain view on my bookshelf. He never asks any questions, though. I would be more than happy to answer if he asked, but he never has. Spirituality is something that does not play an important part in his life.

 I *think* my Mum knows, although I'm not entirely sure! I did tell her one day that I considered myself Pagan and she merely replied with 'Oh. I wish you didn't' and that was all that was said. That was four years ago and nothing has been mentioned since!

My Dad knows, and finds it really funny for some reason. He found out by seeing me reading a 'Witchy' book, and came out with 'Oh look, my daughter's a witch!' He then started to go on about what he knew about Wicca, which surprised me. Turns out a friend of his at the pub he went to was an Alexandrian High Priestess and was on the Board for the UK Pagan Federation. I had no idea.

My grandparents do not know, and I don't intend to tell them. They aren't religious, but wouldn't understand and would no doubt think I was in some sort of cult. There's no point in worrying them.

My in-laws most definitely do not know. They are Jehovah's Witnesses and have only recently stopped trying to convert me. They believe that anyone with different religious beliefs to their own have been influenced by Satan...there's really no arguing with that, so I just keep my mouth shut.
Logged

'How she longed for winter then!-
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake'
~Sylvia Plath
katkat42
Journeyman
***
Last Login:June 11, 2010, 02:56:53 pm
United States United States

Religion: Asatru
Posts: 112


Hee!

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #18: January 09, 2009, 06:06:22 pm »

I am guessing most of us here were not born into Pagan families, so most of us have had to face the question of whether or not to tell our families and friends, and if so, how. So, a few questions:

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

Well, the only person whose opinion on this subject I care about right now is my husband.  He's okay with it.  I've kept him kinda updated as I've made my journey.  And once I found a path I liked, we had a discussion about religious practices and raising children.  He's a Christian-flavored agnostic, doesn't really feel the topic is important.

My parents and sister don't know.  My sister would probably be okay with it.  Religion isn't something my family discusses.  My parents are both practicing Lutherans, although they're between churches right now because they disagree with the way the clergy and music director are running their respective offices.  I think a lot of it has to do with the experience of the worship service or something.  (My family are all professionally-trained musicians, so service music is very important to them.)

I think my father would take an academic approach, if I were ever to tell him.  He would ask me for a brief theological summary, then say something like "Well, it's not what I would prefer, but it's your decision to make."  (He made the same response when I moved in with hubby before we got married.)  After that, he would occasionally ask me clarifying questions about this or that, but that's it.  My mother, on the other hand... well, she's hard to predict.  She's more likely to take it personally, or try to convert me back, or both.

Religion isn't something I really discuss with friends or co-workers.  When the subject comes up in discussion, I don't hide the fact that I say "Gods", not "God", but I don't act like I've said anything unusual, and I don't offer more information than I was asked for.  (That last is rather like I did when I was Christian, come to think of it...)
Logged
thesilverbow
Apprentice
**
Last Login:August 07, 2012, 04:29:57 am
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Religion: Polytheist
Posts: 21

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #19: January 11, 2009, 09:51:07 am »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?
Well, this is a complicated one for me. Lucky for me though even though I was born into a family of muslims, christians and atheists none of them are particularly religious!

My family don't know what I believe because I've never told them -- my sisters know I'm an oddball and that I've had a crystal fetish for many years now and that I've seen/believe in spirits. No more than that.

My dad isn't really interested, he wouldn't care either way anyway! Although the other day he told me I took after his sister who is a kind of folk type healer. Like a lot of non western countries Iran still has a lot of magic-y folk practices that people still use. My dad called it witchcraft but I think that's because there was no better word in English for what he was saying; but magical type folk practices is what he meant. Not that I'm a healer like my aunt, but he just meant that he knows I've inherited that kind of leaning.

My mother probably knows the most about my spiritual activities. I don't go out of my way to hide it from anyone, but I certainly do not advertise it either. I leave my books around my room and my mum has picked them up and been like 'are you a witch now?' I'm just like *shrug*. I think she knows somewhere inside what I am but kind of doesn't mention it.

I have a close friend who I've known many years that I told. Back when we were young and in school we kind of dabbled in witchcraft for a while, and when I told her she ended up admitting that she never really got over that "phase" either. So now we write letters to one another to discuss spiritual stuff.

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

There's no need for me to 'come out' formally. It'll just happen gradually and really, the only person who I want to know is my mum. I figure it's easier to go slow than just blurt it out -- which I'm not good with horridly awkward conversations. I have enough trouble getting my words out in asking for a lift somewhere etc. LOL. Cheesy
Logged
Ghost Queen
Journeyman
***
Last Login:April 11, 2010, 08:10:46 pm
Ecuador Ecuador

Religion: Ecclectic Polytheistic Pagan
Posts: 228


At the Edge of Enigma, the Gatekeeper waits...

Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #20: January 11, 2009, 03:18:18 pm »



I would like to add another question: how do you deal with family members who are hostile toward your beliefs, if you have such family members?
Logged

The meaning of life is to give life meaning
Go too fast, move too slow
Restore the balance between thinking and feeling
Open up and let it flow

-Ayreon 01011001
Meabh
Apprentice
**
Last Login:May 24, 2010, 09:49:28 pm
Canada Canada

Religion: Celtic Reconstructionist Paganism
Posts: 32


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #21: January 11, 2009, 07:22:16 pm »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?
2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?
3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

I've told all of my family.  My husband is also a pagan, a topic we discussed the first time we met and one of the reasons I was interested in him right away.  I've talked about it in great detail with my mother.  She's never had a problem with it and often asks me questions.  Most of my family sends us gifts labeled as Yule gifts instead of Christmas gifts, some don't.  The only person who had a problem with it is my maternal Grandmother.  She has never said anything negative, she just pretends like she doesn't know and continues to discuss christianity as though it is something we have in common.  She's in her 80's, I don't push the issue.  My 4 year old knows that we are pagan, and is starting to understand what that means. My 7 month old obviously has no clue yet.

I don't think I really consciously "came out".  I had told all of my family when I swore off christianity.  The knew I wasn't a christian.  After that no one really asked much when I started celebrating different holidays.  They were curious after a while and I fielded questions after that. 

We have quite a few pagan friends, especially in the area where we used to live.  I'm pretty sure all of our non-pagan friends know that we are pagan.  I'm not sure what some of them think about it, most don't care much I imagine. 

I work with two other pagans.  Myself and one other take holidays off, so our bosses and most of our coworkers know.  I don't think anyone cares at all.  The other pagan at work is very hush hush about it.  I'm not sure why.

I think where you live has a lot to do with how people react.  I'm from eastern Canada and have lived in 3 provinces.  It's unusual for people to ask someone their religion here.  It's also very unusual for people to get very upset that someone is a particular religion, regardless of what they think of the beliefs. 

The only slightly bad reaction that I've ever gotten was unexpected, and funny really.  I was in a gay bar (with my gay cousin) in Greenville, NC.   The bar was in an industrial section of the city, behind a motorcycle dealership, with an unmarked door.  We were having a great time dancing and met some people.  They asked where we were from, and what church we went to.  Neither of us had EVER  been asked that question, even after knowing someone for years, let alone 5 minutes.  I said that I don't go to church and they were all shocked.  One asked why and I said I was pagan.  I've never see someone so shocked in my life.  Several people stopped talking to us all together.  The others just thought I was really strange.  I would have expected a group of gay men in a hidden bar to be a little more open to the idea, but they weren't at all.  They were also surprised that I was straight and in a gay bar, but that's another story.

Holly
« Last Edit: January 11, 2009, 07:28:05 pm by Meabh » Logged
Jenett
High Adept Member
******
Last Login:February 23, 2020, 06:56:44 pm
United States United States

Religion: Priestess in initiatory religious witchcraft tradition
Posts: 2506


Blog entries (1)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #22: January 11, 2009, 08:05:36 pm »

Finally had a chance to reply.

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?
2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

More or less, yes. (They found my website - which is pseduonymous unless you dig deeply into the domain registration - which my older sister, who's also a librarian did) AT the time, I was not talking to my mother (and not to my brother and sister, who are much older, so we've never been extremely close).

(All my friends know, as it's pretty hard to miss in my life since group work is a big part of my schedule. My boss knew for several years before he left for his current job, and I just told my new minion, who'd already heard a little about it: I outed myself in two specific settings in the school I work in this fall, including *his* previous boss's comparative religions class. I am, however, generally pretty quiet about it at work unless someone asks directly.)

I don't particularly recommend this method, and there was quite a bit of fussy stuff for a month or two - but actually *since* then, things have been much better, and my family's had a much easier time seeing me as an independent adult making my own decisions. My situation's rather unusual, though: the people I'm directly related to on the planet are my mother, my brother (and his daughters), my sister (and her son) and that's about it. My father died when I was in my teens (18 years ago), and my siblings are 15 and 16 years older than I am (and I'm in my 30s: all of this happened about 5 years ago, so I was in my late 20s.)

If I'd been talking to them more regularly at the time (which I wasn't for good reason - Mom had pushed back some very specific boundaries to a point that broke the camel's back.) I would have handled it differently, but if I remember correctly, they found out about 6 months after I got my 1st degree in the tradition I work in - i.e. the point where I'd made a firm commitment to a specific path.

Since then, we've had a bunch of good conversations about very aspects (even with my mother, who's the most conservative of us in a number of ways). On the other hand, I live 5 hours drive from my sister, and 1500 miles from my brother (in Connecticut) and my mother (in Boston), so a lot of practical issues (like needing time for ritual or group work, things in my home, etc.) just don't come up much at all.

What I'd suggest for people thinking about coming out:
1) Expect it to be a process.
This is something you've been thinking about for a long time - but it's going to be brand new to them. They need time to get over the initial startlement and think some more about it. A good rule of thumb is to give them *at least* as long to get used to the idea as it took you to make a decision to be serious about it. (In most cases, this is going to be at least a year.)  Time also helps a lot in convincing people that you're actually serious about it, it's not a phase, you've considered it thoroughly, etc.

2) It's really really helpful if you can be in a position where you can not talk to them for a while if you need to - i.e. if they're abusive, over the top nasty, etc.
This means you shouldn't need to be relying on them for food/shelter/transportation/babysitting/whatever. One hopes you don't need that - but if you do, it's really powerful to be able to say "I'm sorry you're upset, but I'm not going to talk about this until you can be civil" and hang up. (Repeat as many times as needed.)

3) Think about the actual places people might have hangups.
Mom calmed down tremendously when I started talking about magic as a way of creating change in myself (something she could understand from other aspects of things we've talked about) and when I talked about how much I loved being a part of a religious community where I have regular rigorous deep conversations about religion (something she's been frustrated in finding)

And, of course, have some sources of good information ready to hand them - with a little explanation. ("This isn't exactly what my religious ritual work looks like, but it's the closest thing I can find that's in print. After you've read it, I'm glad to explain the specifics if you want." for example.)

4) Think about the overall dynamics.
If a family member is hostile to you - have they always been like that, and this is just the latest thing they hang it on? Or are they legitimately worried for your well-being? These are two different situations, and different things will be needed. If they've been abusive, dismissive, etc. of other choices in your life, you may never get their full respect, support, etc. If they disagree, and wish you wouldn't - but accept you're an adult/etc. then you have a lot more room to maneuver.
Logged

Blog: Thoughts from a threshold: http://gleewood.org/threshold
Info for seekers: http://gleewood.org/seeking
Pagan books and resources: http://gleewood.org/books
Ghost Queen
Journeyman
***
Last Login:April 11, 2010, 08:10:46 pm
Ecuador Ecuador

Religion: Ecclectic Polytheistic Pagan
Posts: 228


At the Edge of Enigma, the Gatekeeper waits...

Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #23: January 11, 2009, 08:44:48 pm »



I have a feeling my mom has her suspicions. She once asked me point blank if I was involved in the occult. I told her I wasn't, which was only partly true. I hadn't actually done anything particularly occultish, like cast a spell or astrally project (I had done some dream stuff, but not everyone considers that part of the occult), but I was learning about it with the intent of doing the things I was learning about once I felt comfortable. After that, I think she thought I was some sort of Buddhist.

My dad thinks I'm an atheist. At least he talks to me as if I were one. I never have been. I've been agnostic before, but not atheist. I have a feeling he'd take it harder than my mom if I said I'd converted to a whole new religion. I don't think the fact that I might be an honest to goodness Pagan has ever even crossed his mind.
Logged

The meaning of life is to give life meaning
Go too fast, move too slow
Restore the balance between thinking and feeling
Open up and let it flow

-Ayreon 01011001
FierFlye
Adept Member
*****
*
Last Login:December 14, 2013, 06:14:57 pm
United States United States

Religion: FlameKeeper
TCN ID: FierFlye
Posts: 2392


Photo Credit: http://roothieb.blogspot.com/

Blog entries (1)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #24: January 11, 2009, 10:36:33 pm »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

My boyfriend knows.  I don't remember the situation under which I told him, only that it was before we were officially dating.  He's aware that I occasionally work with two different groups; I tell him when I have ritual or study groups.  He pretty much knows everything in a general sense.  He doesn't ask about details though.  He's agnostic and uninterested in religion.

His family knows.  He told them that I was 'a witch'.  I'm not sure why.  The only one who brings it up is his mother, who seems to think it's neat and has asked me to do magic for certain situations.

My family doesn't know.  I'm not really sure what they'd say if I told them.  They aren't really religious.  They never go to church and religion isn't discussed in our family. 

As for friends and co-workers, some know and some don't.  Religion isn't really discussed much around here.  It's more unusual to bring it up that not. 

Quote
3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

So far I haven't run into anyone who's reacted negatively to my being pagan, but I don't want that to happen so I don't really announce it.  I don't really see any reason why people need to know, so I don't plan to tell anyone unless they ask.
Logged

Spiritual Blog: Fier's Flame
FierFlye
Adept Member
*****
*
Last Login:December 14, 2013, 06:14:57 pm
United States United States

Religion: FlameKeeper
TCN ID: FierFlye
Posts: 2392


Photo Credit: http://roothieb.blogspot.com/

Blog entries (1)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #25: January 11, 2009, 10:49:47 pm »

4.  I'm adding a question:  Have you told your friends, and how did they react?

Most of my friends who know are either pagan or non-practicing Christians (self-described agnostic or atheist).  However, in college I had one good friend who was actively Christian and I have a current friend who is actively Catholic.  They both know I'm pagan and telling them didn't effect our relationship any.  One's reaction was something like, "huh.  well, whatever works for you".  The other's was a bit more inquisitive and interested.

I have one newer friend who doesn't know I'm pagan.  We've known each other for 9 months or so.  I met her through craigslist - I was looking for someone to ride trails(bikes) with.  Our relationship was meeting at the trailhead to ride for an hour or so each week, since the winter it's progressed into doing more stuff together.  I'm not sure what her religious affiliation is, or what she'd say if I told her I was pagan.  It doesn't factor into our relationship though, so really I see no reason to bring it up.
Logged

Spiritual Blog: Fier's Flame
Lykaios
Journeyman
***
Last Login:January 11, 2013, 10:01:06 pm
United States United States

Religion: Kemetic AUJIK Pagan (only half kidding about the AUJIK)
TCN ID: Lykaios
Posts: 179


Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #26: January 12, 2009, 03:27:11 am »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

Yes. Twice. The first time I told them was in high school when I converted to “wicca” (in quotes because the “wicca” I’m talking about is the 101 variety readily purchased from Barnes and Nobles). The second time, it was to tell them that I had converted (again) to a more specific form of paganism: Kemetic Paganism. Of course, when I say my ‘family’ what I really mean is my mother and my little brother. I’ve never specifically told my father about my faith (though, I’ve never deliberately hidden it or lied about it either). The rest of my family doesn’t know because we aren’t very close to begin with and I generally don’t burn bridges when I don’t have to, so to speak. I have regular conversations about my faith with my mother (when she’s in the mood to sit through it) and I occasionally talk about it with my brother when the subject comes up of its own accord (which is almost never).  I’ve always been very close to my family, especially my mom, so, on an emotional level, not telling her was never an option to me.

Quote
2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

Well, the first time didn’t go so well. I literally walked into the kitchen and said “Mom, I’m a witch.” Then handed her the 101 book I had been reading and walked away. She was a bit freaked out until she read the book later that night and decided that it was a healthy faith if a bit ‘ookie’ for her Spiritual-Jewish background. She actually responded better to my second conversion, probably because my Kemetic beliefs are a lot more conservative than my Wicca-101 beliefs, and closer to what she believes. My brother didn’t really enter the picture until the second conversion (after he had grown up and decided on an atheist path) and while he has made it clear that he doesn’t agree with me, he tolerates (and even respects, to a certain extent) my beliefs.

Quote
3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

I still haven’t really told my father per say. The only time I tried to talk to him about it, he quickly said that he personally felt ‘religion was something humans shouldn’t mess with’ and the conversation died before it even began. Recently, (possible at my mother’s prompting), he has started showing some interest in what I believe. He asked for the web address of my new religious blog and apparently read the first few postings. He sent me an e-mail that said “Thanks for sharing. Love, Dad.” I have no idea whether that’s a good or a bad start, but hey, it’s a start.


Quote
4. (Moon Ivy's question) Have you told your friends and how did they react

Not only have I told my close friends, but reaction to my faith is typically my litmus test for potential new ‘close friends’, and ‘coming out’ always comes before I let them into my apartment, which is because coming into my apartment would be my ‘coming out’ anyway the way I leave shrines all over the place (and pagan/kemetic books all over my desk, and tarot decks all over my coffee table,...). Of course, I also have a fully decorated Christmas tree plugged into the outlet controlled by the main light switch (year round), but that’s kind of the thing: you have to expect that kind of weirdness from me to have a relationship with me, because if you can’t love my eccentric personality, you can’t love the person I am.

That said, I am careful about my public/work image. I’m a kindergarten teacher, and whatever the actual laws say, when you work with kids being openly pagan is very dangerous in conservative communities. The only outward sign is the ankh I always wear. If questioned, I laugh and say that it was a gift and it’s the only piece of gold jewelry I own so I wear it all the time (which is actually a true statement but not the real reason I wear it Wink).  Typically, if people assume a religious connection to the necklace they think I’m Islamic (which I still utterly fail to comprehend).


Logged

oonagh
Journeyman
***
Last Login:July 13, 2009, 12:57:53 pm
United States United States

Religion: pantheist
Posts: 105


be yourself. everyone else is taken.

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #27: January 13, 2009, 08:41:01 am »

Yes.   

i think that it is not necessary to tell people about your spirituality. it is a personal matter. if you'd like to find people with whom to share ideas about the topic there are always forums like this one.
that being said, it's not a good thing to pretend to belong to a religion that you don't. so, show respect to others and keep your path to yourself.

i have not said "i am pagan", but i have said that i'm not christian and i make no secret about what i do or who i am. i just don't need to shout it from the hilltops.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2009, 08:47:48 am by oonagh sidhe, Reason: couldn\'t get the quote to work properly » Logged

blessed be,
oonagh
Lykaios
Journeyman
***
Last Login:January 11, 2013, 10:01:06 pm
United States United States

Religion: Kemetic AUJIK Pagan (only half kidding about the AUJIK)
TCN ID: Lykaios
Posts: 179


Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #28: January 14, 2009, 01:46:43 am »

i think that it is not necessary to tell people about your spirituality. it is a personal matter. if you'd like to find people with whom to share ideas about the topic there are always forums like this one.
that being said, it's not a good thing to pretend to belong to a religion that you don't. so, show respect to others and keep your path to yourself.

i have not said "i am pagan", but i have said that i'm not christian and i make no secret about what i do or who i am. i just don't need to shout it from the hilltops.

Um...is this response directed to me and my answer to the initial question (as implied by your direct quote of my post) or are you using the word 'you' in a general impersonal sense? Because the distinction makes a difference in your tone...if you are addressing me directly and saying something like "show respect to others and keep your path to yourself" your post comes off as being kind of aggressive-ish from my point of view (as in, implying that you feel I am being disrespectful to others by sharing my faith with people I know...which is what my post was about). Knowing whether you intended to address me specifically, will greatly influence my reaction to your post.
Logged

oonagh
Journeyman
***
Last Login:July 13, 2009, 12:57:53 pm
United States United States

Religion: pantheist
Posts: 105


be yourself. everyone else is taken.

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #29: January 14, 2009, 08:35:31 am »

are you using the word 'you' in a general impersonal sense?

oh goodness... i would *never* direct a response in a personal sense. i mean 100% the universal "you"

also, i just mean that it's not *necessary*...not *don't*. i do share what i do with people if they ask...i just don't fee that i *have* to tell everyone....does that make sense?

geez...i really am sorry that i sounded less than kind. it was the farthest thing from my intention.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 08:37:54 am by oonagh sidhe » Logged

blessed be,
oonagh

Donor Ad: Become a Silver or Gold Donor to get your ad here.

Tags:
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5   Go Up
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
 
Jump to:  
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

* Share this topic...
In a forum
(BBCode)
In a site/blog
(HTML)


Related Topics
Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
Coming out of hiding ... « 1 2 »
Introductions
Faraetaildreams 24 7871 Last post June 18, 2007, 12:34:37 am
by Denim Dee
Coming in Crisis
Introductions
bulletproofpotatogirl 8 2801 Last post October 13, 2007, 11:19:58 pm
by Figment99
When the up-and-coming up and came. « 1 2 3 »
Music, Television, and Film
WarHorse 30 7814 Last post February 08, 2008, 10:27:07 pm
by Lorrie Indigo
Imbolc is Coming! « 1 2 »
Holidays and Festivals
Aster Breo 15 5991 Last post February 03, 2008, 02:55:46 pm
by Darkhawk
The Pagans are coming! The Pagans are coming! « 1 2 »
Political Discussions
LyricFox 26 7484 Last post June 10, 2009, 12:40:53 pm
by Owl
EU Cookie Notice: This site uses cookies. By using this site you consent to their use.


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.065 seconds with 51 queries.