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Author Topic: The Coming Out Topic  (Read 20511 times)
Tara333
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« Reply #60: April 24, 2009, 12:22:50 pm »


1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?


Great thread... thought I would post my answers while I eat lunch at work,... I can't wait to put the kids to bed and read all the other answers....

My family knows "what I am" so to speak.   I was born into a not very religious methodist family. Only went to church when I was forced to go on those "special" occasions.  I began my pagan beliefs when I was a child but didn't know exactly what it was "called" until I was about 11 years old. At that point I just slowly started to disagree with Christian views. My family has had many years of me "breaking them in" to what I believe.  So I guess I didn't really Tell Them as much as just being myself and showing them how I live.  My mother agrees with my beliefs in many ways but I think she is too afraid to go against the mainstream society and label herself as something that people won't understand. My sister, on the other hand, is very very Baptist.....LOL.... we disagree very much on each others beliefs but at the same time we laugh hysterically about it. She accepts me as the "quirky" person she thinks I am and I accept her for the same. I do know that she "prays" for my soul though.. and I think that is just the funniest thing ever. So I chant for her.....   With Beltane coming up, we are all going to the Faery Festival . The common folk go because they think its fun and fantasy. But realistically it really is a celebration of Beltane...may pole and all.  I prepped my family for the line of Christian protesters who gather at the entrance.  I told my sister that since she makes me celebrate christmas with her she has to celebrate May day with me..... and we do so graciously.

I'm not afraid to tell people what I believe if they ask. I don't hide it from anyone. But I also don't stand on the rooftop and scream about it either. My beliefs are mine and mine alone. It's not up for debate. People can think what they want and that's fine with me.  The only time I openly tell someone is when the Christians knock on the door to give me a pamplet about Jesus and I respectfully tell them that I don't believe in that but thank you very much. Some of the reactions are Priceless!!!   They just don't know what to say. 

My beliefs alone do not define me.  There are many many things who make me who I am. My family loves me as I am. And yes,... even the Baptist bible beater likes it when I read her palm or lay out the cards for her..... and then she cleanses her house when we're done....  very strange family I guess.  But we love each other and differences in thinking shouldn't matter......
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« Reply #61: May 02, 2009, 02:00:41 am »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?
2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?
3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?


1. I haven't told my family anything. My mom has caught a glimpse of my books in the past and as such now makes church a necessity whenever I come home to visit. This definitely causes some stress and as such I just don't go home very often, usually saying I couldn't get the time off work.  Undecided  I think my Dad will be more accepting of my choices. He understands my passion for the outdoors and growing things in the garden as he has the same interests. He is very against organized religion as he thinks that religion becomes corrupt when people try to organize it. However, he's a hippie in heart and deed. Sometimes I wonder if he isn't a Pagan of some sort himself. But that's an entirely different topic Smiley
2/3/4. While I haven't told my family, some of my friends here do know my beliefs, although most don't as I don't know them on that personal of a level. Most that do know are the girls that I work with. This probably isn't the norm among people, but fate has brought together a very interesting blend of people to work in my store (it is a bookstore though, so that probably helped all of our crazy employees in the same one  Roll Eyes ) Those that know, I didn't really sit down and be like "guess what?" I kind of just started buying my books from the employees that I was ok with knowing and I don't from those that I'd rather not. Some didn't bat an eye, some responded with the "oh! I didn't know you were into this!!" and one even responded with, "Well it's about time you figured it out." So I've had all sorts of reactions, but with the exception of my mom, none have been negative.

Eventually, I would like to be out to all of my family, but I don't see that happening for a while, and probably not at all to the grandparents. For now though, I am working on being more open with my friends and I guess I'll work up from there Smiley
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Beautiful_Tragedy
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« Reply #62: June 02, 2009, 01:34:56 pm »


1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?



I have never hidden what I am or what i believe from my family, though i must admit i haven't been exactly forthcoming with details or announcments of my spiritual choices. Since i have chosen my path i have proudly worn my pentacle around my neck. Some know what it is and some dont. I have aunts who have known from the beginning what my spiritual choices are because they are the ones who encouraged me when i felt i was alone. It took my mother up until the announcement of my engagement to realize I was pagan because i mentioned that i met my Fiance on a religion forum...and of course she asked what religion. Cheesy

My aunts have embraced my choice in such a way that i couldnt be happier. They are both very excited that I will be having a handfasting ceremony instead of a traditional Christian wedding like many others in my family have had...My mother is less than thrilled but knows me well enough to know there is no changing my mind. My grandmother might be angry enough to not even show because i know she'll think its evil and envoking satan and blah blah blah but i feel she will either learn to accept me or she wont. I suppose i will be offically "coming out" to my entire (Roman catholic *uh oh*) family when we send out our wedding invitations and they say handfasting instead of wedding Cheesy I'm not too worried though. Those who love me either already know my path or will learn to accept it, and those who dont are not people i need in my life.
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Yami_Ranpu
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« Reply #63: July 02, 2009, 03:36:17 pm »

I am guessing most of us here were not born into Pagan families, so most of us have had to face the question of whether or not to tell our families and friends, and if so, how. So, a few questions:

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?



1.Yes, I have, well sort of. Iv'e only really told my mom. I told her because well, I wanted to tell her because I've always been able to talk to her about almost everything, so I felt like I was hiding something that was a big part of me. I've told her all that I know so far, as I'm still learning myself.

2.I told my mom last night when we were walking out dogs. She actually reacted very well. She listened as I explainged what I knew, and stuff. She said that she was ok with it, and that the important thing was that I was comfortable in my own skin.
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PurpleCrow
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« Reply #64: July 02, 2009, 04:03:09 pm »

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?


1. My mum knows what I believe and has a vague interest herself. We havent had huge discussions about it though. My dad doesnt know but thats purely because I dont live with him and he is not really part of my life. My partner knows, I told him what my beliefs were before we became a couple.
2. My mum was fine with it all, took it well and has never had any problems with it. Except when I nearly burnt the house down with a small spell candle! Oops  Grin My other half takes the micky but its all fun and games, he was brought up in a very strictly religious house and has no like or belief for any kind of religion because of this.
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brandonb70
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« Reply #65: July 24, 2009, 02:26:14 pm »

I am guessing most of us here were not born into Pagan families, so most of us have had to face the question of whether or not to tell our families and friends, and if so, how. So, a few questions:

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

For me, I have not told my family I've decided to be a Pagan. I've discussed some of my beliefs to them, but mostly the ones related to how the environment should be treated.  I have told my mom I know a few people who indentify themselves as Pagans, and when I told her, she didn't know what that meant, or even that there was such a thing, in the 21st century western world, as a Pagan. (My parents are not only Christians, but also missionaries. So telling them I converted to another religion might not go over so well. They were disappointed enough when I announced I was agnostic 8 years ago. And somehow I think they'd take it harder if I announced I was a polytheist than if I announced I was Jewish, for instance.)

Another reason I have not told my family is because I have not chosen my path yet or which deities I will work with. I know they will have a lot of questions and I do not feel well equipt to answer them at this point.

Will I tell them eventually?  I don't know. Right now, I'm not ready. It's an important enough part of my life that I wish I could share it with them. I know that if I do make contact with a deity and really connect with him or her, I will be very excited about it, and it will be disappointing not being able to share it with some of the most important people in my life. But it would also be disappointing sharing it with someone who thinks it's either silly or just plain evil.

1. I have not told my family out of fear that I would be disowned or at least not as welcome as i would be now and I love my family so as long as they find out im ok. Which really upsets me because the first of the NNVs is Courage and I feel like im not completely living up to them.

2. N/A

3. Probably not again unless they find out.

4. I have told my friends and my gf all of them accept it and/or don't care. Which is good. Especially with my GF not caring and actually being supportive makes me feel im not a complete outsider.

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myself to myself,
on that tree of which no man knows
from where its roots run. - Hávamál
SilverWillow
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« Reply #66: July 27, 2009, 06:35:15 pm »

I am guessing most of us here were not born into Pagan families, so most of us have had to face the question of whether or not to tell our families and friends, and if so, how. So, a few questions:

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?


Ooh it's been really interesting reading everyones answers to this!  This is something I used to really worry about.

1. My family, I suppose, have always known really.  From the age of 11 onwards I was always quite 'witchy' (their word not mine) and would make potions from things I found in the garden.  It's funny looking back on what was at the time just childsplay. When I was about 15 I discovered a new age shop in my town and would spend all my pocket money in there, my bedroom was always hidden in a fog of incense and I had a few spellbooks.  I would write my own spells too but I made sure I hid those.  My parents even bought me a crystal ball one year so I took that as their way of saying you choose your own path and we're fine with it. 
Instead of Wicca I veered off down the path of Spiritualism, as my Grandma is also a Spiritualist.  I am just coming back to Wicca now, aged 21. 

2.Still live with my parents but this time I just came out with it and told them what I was doing.  It's none of thier business really I know but i'm living under their roof and they want to know what all the mysterious parcels are that arrive for me!  My family is quite open and relaxed.  I was born Catholic but Mum always said we're ( me and my sisters) are to make our own minds up.  So I have done Smiley
I did the same with my boyfriend aswell.  I was just open about it and explained Wicca is something i've always been interested in and I feel ready to pursue it now.  He was great, in fact I found out he was too!

Friends.....tricky.  Friends who have known me from school know, and my closest friends now have some idea though I probably haven't sat and explained it like I should have yet.

Way I see it is you should follow whatever path makes you happy and content.  Other people might not believe in it and that's okay, but if it makes you feel better and content then go for it!

Xx
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« Reply #67: August 07, 2009, 10:09:59 pm »

I am guessing most of us here were not born into Pagan families, so most of us have had to face the question of whether or not to tell our families and friends, and if so, how. So, a few questions:

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

For me, I have not told my family I've decided to be a Pagan. I've discussed some of my beliefs to them, but mostly the ones related to how the environment should be treated.  I have told my mom I know a few people who indentify themselves as Pagans, and when I told her, she didn't know what that meant, or even that there was such a thing, in the 21st century western world, as a Pagan. (My parents are not only Christians, but also missionaries. So telling them I converted to another religion might not go over so well. They were disappointed enough when I announced I was agnostic 8 years ago. And somehow I think they'd take it harder if I announced I was a polytheist than if I announced I was Jewish, for instance.)

Another reason I have not told my family is because I have not chosen my path yet or which deities I will work with. I know they will have a lot of questions and I do not feel well equipt to answer them at this point.

Will I tell them eventually?  I don't know. Right now, I'm not ready. It's an important enough part of my life that I wish I could share it with them. I know that if I do make contact with a deity and really connect with him or her, I will be very excited about it, and it will be disappointing not being able to share it with some of the most important people in my life. But it would also be disappointing sharing it with someone who thinks it's either silly or just plain evil.

1. In response to this, I'm very happy to have parents that are so understanding and won't judge me. If I told them I became a pagan, they would still love me anyway. Usually my beliefs change. Right now though, I am a pagan. I feel in tune with The Mother Earth at the moment. Both of my parents are Christians, but my mom is more spiritual then Christian and my dad may believe Jesus is the only way, but he doesn't tell people that they are wrong in their faiths, whatever it is, because (in his words) "I'm not God, I can't judge others in that way." So they really wouldn't think of me any different then they do now.

2. My dad doesn't know, but my mom knows that I am on the pagan path right now. She's fine with it.

3. I think I will, if it becomes my permanent religion, and it might, but I don't know.
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« Reply #68: August 15, 2009, 06:51:15 pm »

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

Since I made this post, I have told a few other people about my beliefs. I joined a band, and I told the drummer and bassist. The drummer is Buddhist and the bassist is an eclectic Christian.  They don't know all the specifics, but I am quite open about my spiritual beliefs with them. And I even prayed to Rhiannon in front of the bassist the other night, since I thought the situation called for it. (I also prayed to his god, since it was on his behalf. I figured I could honor both of our beliefs.)

My parents know I participate in sweat lodge ceremonies (without the drugs. The place where I go doesn't use peyote in the sweat lodge). I've told them how the ceremony in my particular community works, and I eventually told them the ceremony was done in the nude (which kind of freaked them out), and that it had spiritual significance to me. I don't think they really understand, but I think they are starting to accept that I am not a Christian and won't be anytime in the near future.
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RyanCSmith
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« Reply #69: August 17, 2009, 02:48:47 pm »

I am guessing most of us here were not born into Pagan families, so most of us have had to face the question of whether or not to tell our families and friends, and if so, how. So, a few questions:

1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?

I never really was in the closet to begin with mostly due to circumstances.  The first book on Wicca I got as a Christmas present when I was 12 and its gone from there.  I don't make a point of telling people at work but I don't hide it either.
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Luna Spirytwater
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« Reply #70: October 20, 2009, 11:19:40 pm »


1. Have you told your family what you believe? Why or why not? How much have you told them?

2. If you have "come out," how did you tell your family? How did they react?

3. If you haven't "come out" do you think you ever will? Why or why not?


I was raised by my grandmother (very strict christian) and her husband (also christian but very accepting) and my sister (not sure her religion) I tried to tell my grandmother and all I got as a response was a very wordy lecture about how my beliefs aren't a religion that they are part of an anti-religion. Needless to say I never brought it up again. I think she knows I'm still pagan but she tends to pretend things that she dislikes never happened, but my boyfriend whom I intend to marry want to raise our children pagan and grandma will probably throw a fit. I don't think I'll ever tell my mom. She has had a hard life and only now is finding peace in religion. She is very christian and it is the only thing that brings her happiness in her life now. I don't have the heart to tell her I'm pagan I think it'd break her heart. They'll know when I start a family but I don't like to worry about problems like that till they happen if they happen.

Love,
Luna
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