The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum (Archive Board)
June 23, 2018, 05:19:04 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: This is our Read Only Archive Board (closed to posting July 2011). Join our new vBulletin board!
 
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
June 23, 2018, 05:19:04 pm

Login with username, password and session length
Donate!
The Cauldron's server is expensive and requires monthly payments. Please become a Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor if you can. Donations are needed every month. Without member support, we can't afford the server.
TC Staff
Important Information about this Archive Board
This message board is The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum's SMF Archive Board. It is closed to new memberships and to posting, but there are over 250,000 messages here that you can still search and read -- many full of interesting and useful information. (This board was open from February 2007 through June 2011).

Our new vBulletin discussion board is located at http://www.ecauldron.com/forum/ -- if you would like to participate in discussions like those you see here, please visit our new vBulletin message board, register an account and join in our discussions. We hope you will find the information in this message archive useful and will consider joining us on our new board.
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
Author Topic: Being alone on your path  (Read 4881 times)
hauntedheart
Apprentice
**
Last Login:January 28, 2012, 09:23:30 am
United States United States

Posts: 17


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Topic Start: January 11, 2009, 11:06:36 pm »

Hi all..
Sonething I've been tinking about alot lately, is the frustration I feel being alone on my path.  I'm in the closet (so far back I can see Narnia) with little hope of coming out anytime soon.  Health and finances have made it necessary that hubby, daughter and I live with my folks, who would be intolerant of a pagan.  They are good people, and I have a good realtionship with them, and wouldn't want to risk losing that because I believe differently then they do. 

My husband is pretty much non-religious, and most of my friends are the same. Not having someone who gets what I'm going through, or looking for is frustrating.  I have met one or two people, through random meetings (once in a bookstore in the metaphysical section) but those never really got off the ground.  They seemed more interested in shocking people with their "witchiness".  Hm.

Anyway, I wondered..anyone else have the same frustration?  It's not so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops...I just would love to go to a public ritual, or buy a book I don't have to keep in a drawer.  It would be nice to talk to someone about things that I've gone through in my search...

Sorry if I'm whiny...feel free to slap me.

HH
Logged

All I know is that I know nothing. --Socrates

Don't mistake an open mind for an empty one.

Welcome, Guest!
You will need to register and/or login to participate in our discussions.

Read our Rules and Policies and the Quoting Guidelines.

Help Fund Our Server? Donate to Lyricfox's Cancer Fund?

redbaron998
Journeyman
***
Last Login:August 01, 2009, 12:36:11 am
United States United States

Religion: Odinist
Posts: 100


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #1: January 12, 2009, 03:54:14 am »

Hi all..
Sonething I've been tinking about alot lately, is the frustration I feel being alone on my path.  I'm in the closet (so far back I can see Narnia) with little hope of coming out anytime soon.  Health and finances have made it necessary that hubby, daughter and I live with my folks, who would be intolerant of a pagan.  They are good people, and I have a good realtionship with them, and wouldn't want to risk losing that because I believe differently then they do. 

My husband is pretty much non-religious, and most of my friends are the same. Not having someone who gets what I'm going through, or looking for is frustrating.  I have met one or two people, through random meetings (once in a bookstore in the metaphysical section) but those never really got off the ground.  They seemed more interested in shocking people with their "witchiness".  Hm.

Anyway, I wondered..anyone else have the same frustration?  It's not so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops...I just would love to go to a public ritual, or buy a book I don't have to keep in a drawer.  It would be nice to talk to someone about things that I've gone through in my search...

Sorry if I'm whiny...feel free to slap me.

HH

No worries, the good think about our technological age is...the internet and forums like this. Many of us (including myself) live in areas where they just arent many other pagans and no real infulstructure for learning, support, etc...

It takes some getting used to, espically if you come from a background with a religion with a church or whatever on every street corner. You get used to it and learn to express yourself in different ways like on forums like this, and if you look hard enough you can usually find some friends with similar beliefs, you just got to look really hard. Many others are still in the closet for various reasons, for example myself who would lose my job.

So just keep with it and try not to worry about it, I hope your conditions improve and you can move out again and express yourself freely.
Logged

To Teach is to Learn, to Learn is to Teach
Star
Message Board Coordinator
Senior Staff
Grand Adept Member
****
Last Login:January 12, 2013, 08:36:08 am
United States United States

Religion: Hellenic Reconstructionist
TCN ID: star
Posts: 9033


Etcetera, Whatever

Blog entries (0)

ilaynay starcr
WWW
« Reply #2: January 12, 2009, 05:07:56 am »

Hi all..

Welcome to the Cauldron.
Logged

"The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced."
-- Aart Van Der Leeuw

Main Blog:  Star's Journal of Random Thoughts
Religious Blog:  The Song and the Flame
I can also now be found on Goodreads.
oonagh
Journeyman
***
Last Login:July 13, 2009, 12:57:53 pm
United States United States

Religion: pantheist
Posts: 105


be yourself. everyone else is taken.

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #3: January 13, 2009, 08:32:26 am »

Hi all..
Sonething I've been tinking about alot lately, is the frustration I feel being alone on my path.  I'm in the closet (so far back I can see Narnia) with little hope of coming out anytime soon.  Health and finances have made it necessary that hubby, daughter and I live with my folks, who would be intolerant of a pagan.  They are good people, and I have a good realtionship with them, and wouldn't want to risk losing that because I believe differently then they do. 

My husband is pretty much non-religious, and most of my friends are the same. Not having someone who gets what I'm going through, or looking for is frustrating.  I have met one or two people, through random meetings (once in a bookstore in the metaphysical section) but those never really got off the ground.  They seemed more interested in shocking people with their "witchiness".  Hm.

Anyway, I wondered..anyone else have the same frustration?  It's not so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops...I just would love to go to a public ritual, or buy a book I don't have to keep in a drawer.  It would be nice to talk to someone about things that I've gone through in my search...

Sorry if I'm whiny...feel free to slap me.

HH

i totally understand. Being a pagan does tend to mean a certain amount of isolation. it means that you have to work a little harder to find people to connect with. of course it's actually not too hard keeping it to yourself at home and there is nothing wrong with that. you don't need to stand out (as it were). forums are great though they can be frustrating too because sometimes there is one person running the show and at times the forum can be a 'we all love "so and "' fest instead of a place where one can find commonality. evenso, it's a nice way to start. if you find someone on a forum with whom you connect, email that person...try to foster a more personal relationship. who knows what will come of it.
Logged

blessed be,
oonagh
Star
Message Board Coordinator
Senior Staff
Grand Adept Member
****
Last Login:January 12, 2013, 08:36:08 am
United States United States

Religion: Hellenic Reconstructionist
TCN ID: star
Posts: 9033


Etcetera, Whatever

Blog entries (0)

ilaynay starcr
WWW
« Reply #4: January 13, 2009, 08:41:01 am »

if you find someone on a forum with whom you connect, email that person...try to foster a more personal relationship. who knows what will come of it.

Just a note...  You probably want to ask first and make sure they're OK with being contacted privately for that sort of thing.  (Maybe in a thread where they're talking about something that's interesting to you, for example, you could say something like, "What you're saying is really interesting.  I have some questions I'd like to ask, could I e-mail you?")  While some people are perfectly fine with being contacted privately out of the blue, there are also plenty of people who will find it a little creepy and/or annoying.  Which is a really bad way to start out if you're trying to foster a more personal relationship.  Wink
Logged

"The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced."
-- Aart Van Der Leeuw

Main Blog:  Star's Journal of Random Thoughts
Religious Blog:  The Song and the Flame
I can also now be found on Goodreads.
oonagh
Journeyman
***
Last Login:July 13, 2009, 12:57:53 pm
United States United States

Religion: pantheist
Posts: 105


be yourself. everyone else is taken.

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #5: January 13, 2009, 08:49:13 am »

Just a note...  You probably want to ask first and make sure they're OK with being contacted privately for that sort of thing.  (Maybe in a thread where they're talking about something that's interesting to you, for example, you could say something like, "What you're saying is really interesting.  I have some questions I'd like to ask, could I e-mail you?")  While some people are perfectly fine with being contacted privately out of the blue, there are also plenty of people who will find it a little creepy and/or annoying.  Which is a really bad way to start out if you're trying to foster a more personal relationship.  Wink

oh...of course...i suppose i figured that was a given. sorry.
Logged

blessed be,
oonagh
Figment99
Master Member
****
Last Login:September 30, 2011, 05:02:26 pm
United States United States

Religion: Pagan with Green and Kitchen Witch leanings
Posts: 427


I'm trying to bloom

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #6: January 13, 2009, 10:13:27 am »

Hi all..
Sonething I've been tinking about alot lately, is the frustration I feel being alone on my path.  I'm in the closet (so far back I can see Narnia) with little hope of coming out anytime soon.  Health and finances have made it necessary that hubby, daughter and I live with my folks, who would be intolerant of a pagan.  They are good people, and I have a good realtionship with them, and wouldn't want to risk losing that because I believe differently then they do. 

My husband is pretty much non-religious, and most of my friends are the same. Not having someone who gets what I'm going through, or looking for is frustrating.  I have met one or two people, through random meetings (once in a bookstore in the metaphysical section) but those never really got off the ground.  They seemed more interested in shocking people with their "witchiness".  Hm.

Anyway, I wondered..anyone else have the same frustration?  It's not so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops...I just would love to go to a public ritual, or buy a book I don't have to keep in a drawer.  It would be nice to talk to someone about things that I've gone through in my search...

Sorry if I'm whiny...feel free to slap me.

HH
Welcome to the Board! This is a place you can talk to someone about things that interest you... this thread is a start.

I do understand what you are going through. In the beginning of my path, I was young, my mom was very Catholic and it was hard for her to accept my choice. Unlike you, I was a teen and didn't care how my mom felt (got to love those early teenage years) and told her anyway. It did strain our relationship, but over the years before her death she learned to accept my spiritual choice (especially when she figured out I wasn't sacrificing babies...seriously that was what she was worried about).

A couple of ideas: have you check out www.witchvox.com for any groups in your area that have open rituals.
Also check yahoo groups and see if there is a email group for people just in your area. I did that when I moved last year and I have met several really great people and gone to a few events.
Logged

True Greatness Shows Great Kindness

A Pagan Egroup -> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheInnerSanctuary/ <-Feel free to join
thesilverbow
Apprentice
**
Last Login:August 07, 2012, 04:29:57 am
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Religion: Polytheist
Posts: 21

Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #7: January 13, 2009, 12:10:04 pm »

Hi all..
Sonething I've been tinking about alot lately, is the frustration I feel being alone on my path.  I'm in the closet (so far back I can see Narnia) with little hope of coming out anytime soon.  Health and finances have made it necessary that hubby, daughter and I live with my folks, who would be intolerant of a pagan.  They are good people, and I have a good realtionship with them, and wouldn't want to risk losing that because I believe differently then they do. 

My husband is pretty much non-religious, and most of my friends are the same. Not having someone who gets what I'm going through, or looking for is frustrating.  I have met one or two people, through random meetings (once in a bookstore in the metaphysical section) but those never really got off the ground.  They seemed more interested in shocking people with their "witchiness".  Hm.

Anyway, I wondered..anyone else have the same frustration?  It's not so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops...I just would love to go to a public ritual, or buy a book I don't have to keep in a drawer.  It would be nice to talk to someone about things that I've gone through in my search...

Sorry if I'm whiny...feel free to slap me.

HH

What you're feeling is very normal so I wouldn't worry, it's rather like being a teenager again when dealing with the idea of coming out as a or just plain being a pagan. It's makes you feel very lonely, misunderstood and isolated.

I think admitting being a part of a non mainstream religion (one that can often be met with some raised eyebrows (and worse) does often foster isolationist feelings. Even if the isolation itself isn't real, the feelings of being alone are. As others have mentioned there is the great beauty of internet these days. I'd take a look around some pagan pen pal websites via google, and of course forums like this one are great to let off a little steam by talking about your spiritual life. It does really help and it can be quite cathartic just talking about your practice impersonally.

I know you mentioned your friends are non religious, atheists I assume, but are there not any amongst them whom you could safely confide in? You may be surprised by their reaction. I've only told a very close friend about my spiritual exploits and she admitted she's been interested for a long time in such things. Even if they're not interested themselves I can't imagine true friends judging you.
Logged
RhiannonWhiteMare
Master Member
****
Last Login:August 22, 2009, 12:05:19 pm
United States United States

Religion: Druidry
Posts: 315


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #8: January 13, 2009, 02:02:25 pm »


I understand where you are coming from, because when I first stepped onto my path 27 years ago I felt like I was the only one who believed the way that I did. There was no Internet, no networking of Pagans, very few books and maybe one or two magazines that we Pagans could rely on. My (now ex) husband thought that I was simply going through a phase and browbeat me so much over my religion that I ended up giving up on it. I deserted my deities, but They never deserted me.

Things are so much different now for Pagans then when I first started out. No, a lot of us still feel the need to remain in the closet (especially for those of us who live in the Bible Belt). But now there are lots of books, magazines, websites and forums like this one to remind us that we are not alone, that there are lots of us out there. When I first started out on this path, Wicca was IT. That's what everyone was writing about. But now there are so many more paths out there to explore. It can be a little overwhelming for the newcomer, but it's also wonderful that there are so many more paths to take than just one.

I really can't offer any other suggestions to you than what the others have given you here. I think most of us have been, and still are, where you are right now. Sometimes you can find others like yourself in your area. Other people, like myself, find that being a solitary is just fine.
Logged

Rigantona, Great Queen
Ghost Queen
Journeyman
***
Last Login:April 11, 2010, 08:10:46 pm
Ecuador Ecuador

Religion: Ecclectic Polytheistic Pagan
Posts: 228


At the Edge of Enigma, the Gatekeeper waits...

Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #9: January 13, 2009, 03:04:59 pm »



First off, no one is going to slap you. (well, at least I won't. But I doubt anyone else will either!)

I'm also in the closet. My parents know I believe differently than they do, but they don't know what exactly I believe. (I live with them at the moment for financial reasons) I have one friend who knows, but he lives in Sweden.  My mom keeps trying to coax me out of the closet, so to speak, but I am not ready, so I give her vague answers. Part of me wants to be honest with her and tell her, but part of me knows I am not ready. Also, there's the whole thing about me being interested in the occult and them thinking that's one of the most evil, unwise things a person could possibly do. I also know she would tell my dad, and I really don't want to come out to him yet.  He's actually said on numerous occasions that his religion is the only one that makes sense. I, too, want to be able to do rituals without having to sneak around, be able to talk about how I feel and what I'm looking for without having to censor myself, and be myself without it being "wrong."

Forums are a great way to meet other Pagans, and I've really been enjoying this one so far. Yes, I do appear to be the only one in my country *cues music to bring other forum members living in Ecuador out of the woodwork* but it is nice to see I'm not the only person out there who believes in multiple deities, wants to learn magick, and doesn't think the ancient religions are strictly for academic interest with no real life practice.

Forums are great, and hopefully you will be able to meet people in real life as well. Maybe the two bookstore people were just trying to impress everyone with how witchy they were. I think you find people like that no matter what belief system you are interested in.  But maybe other people work at the same book store, or maybe there are other book stores elsewhere, or perhaps an interfaith community. (People mention those, but I don't know much about them, so I am not really the person to ask about that.)
Logged

The meaning of life is to give life meaning
Go too fast, move too slow
Restore the balance between thinking and feeling
Open up and let it flow

-Ayreon 01011001
hauntedheart
Apprentice
**
Last Login:January 28, 2012, 09:23:30 am
United States United States

Posts: 17


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #10: January 13, 2009, 09:19:54 pm »

I understand where you are coming from, because when I first stepped onto my path 27 years ago I felt like I was the only one who believed the way that I did. There was no Internet

Believe me, it's the same here.  This is not a new path for me.  I've been looking off and on since I was in high school (In the 80's) and a deck of tarot cards set my feet on a path that I have been off and on since. 

This forum has been a real santiy saver on many occasions.  (I've lurked here much longer than I have been posting) I'ts been lovely to see others that struggle with the same things I do(and worse!).  (OK...not that it's lovely to see anyone struggle Grin) I envy the young that have the advantage of the 'net.  The closest thing I had was a local "New Age" bookstore that didn't last very long, and a store called Kathy's Crystals (she was awesome!) but her place didn't last long either.


Well, many thanks to all who replied.  I was feeling particularly blue that evening, and it's nice to hear "hey, I've been there" rather than "uh..quit whining!"

HH


Logged

All I know is that I know nothing. --Socrates

Don't mistake an open mind for an empty one.
Selegna
Master Member
****
Last Login:July 26, 2012, 08:50:53 pm
Argentina Argentina

Religion: Eclectic, polytheist, follower of Loki, Brighid and Hera.
Posts: 474


Blog entries (0)

IceAngie
WWW

Ignore
« Reply #11: January 15, 2009, 09:44:50 am »

Forums are a great way to meet other Pagans, and I've really been enjoying this one so far. Yes, I do appear to be the only one in my country *cues music to bring other forum members living in Ecuador out of the woodwork* but it is nice to see I'm not the only person out there who believes in multiple deities, wants to learn magick, and doesn't think the ancient religions are strictly for academic interest with no real life practice.

I'm a member of a pagan Yahoo group where there are some people from Ecuador. I remember at least one person. It's an Argentinian group and the main language is Spanish, if you are interested pm me or send me an e-mail. Smiley
Logged

circlewatcher
Apprentice
**
Last Login:May 11, 2009, 01:39:33 pm
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Religion: following a lone pagan path
Posts: 22


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #12: January 17, 2009, 11:32:03 am »

Hi all..
Sonething I've been tinking about alot lately, is the frustration I feel being alone on my path.  I'm in the closet (so far back I can see Narnia)

HH

LOL! love the line about Narnia.
You are not alone, trust me. I am new here but this is what i have faced.....

I have followed this path since not long after my mum diead, i was raised christian and my father still follows that way in life. My sister is now an atheist but both my brother and i follow similar paths.I faced bullying through fear of the unknown at school and could not find many who followed the same path.

My husband is tolerant of the path i follow and was well aware i followed this path before we got together and he is to a point very understanding.
Although the other week he showed his ignorance, i was doing spell research online and put the laptop down to go to the bathroom and when i returned he started to speak the spell with a very mocking tone, and when i asked him to pass me my book of shadows he started to thumb through it and mocking me. This led to our first major row.

His mother is by far the most intolerant i have so far come across, even though she comes from a long line of tarot readers herself. She is devout catholic and cannot comprehend my choice. I have a small devotional area in our living room and whenever she comes round i find my goddess statue moved to be replaced with an image of the BVM, which is kept near by (my husband bought it back from italy as a gift). I only like to move my sacred things, my husband knows this, but she cant or wont understand. She threw away a rune when she decided to tidy up which means i have an incomplete set, which i have owned from the outset of me stepping on this path.

I have only recently met a fellow pagan through work who i can talk to openly and ask advice of, which i have found to be so freeing it is hard to describe, to the point where i only trust him to look after me if i have a bad turn ( i suffer with a heart thing which no-one seems able to diagnose). We have an understanding which is amazing, we can sit and chat about the seasons etc. Our other colleagues think its a bit odd, for example he asked me yesterday in the middle of dealing with a load of chaos whether i had mistletoe growing close to me (he lives in the city and i live in the countryside) and i said yes and that i would harvest him some. They were more than a bit bemused!

Keep true to yourself hun, i know its tough and can be a lonely place sometimes, but now, like me you have somewhere to meet like minded people!!!!
Logged

bright is the light that guides, dark is the night when the light no longer guides, I am blessed by your wisdom and guidance, never let the dark nights come.
Ghost Queen
Journeyman
***
Last Login:April 11, 2010, 08:10:46 pm
Ecuador Ecuador

Religion: Ecclectic Polytheistic Pagan
Posts: 228


At the Edge of Enigma, the Gatekeeper waits...

Blog entries (0)

WWW

Ignore
« Reply #13: January 17, 2009, 11:44:06 am »

His mother is by far the most intolerant i have so far come across, even though she comes from a long line of tarot readers herself. She is devout catholic and cannot comprehend my choice. I have a small devotional area in our living room and whenever she comes round i find my goddess statue moved to be replaced with an image of the BVM, which is kept near by (my husband bought it back from italy as a gift). I only like to move my sacred things, my husband knows this, but she cant or wont understand. She threw away a rune when she decided to tidy up which means i have an incomplete set, which i have owned from the outset of me stepping on this path.


Wow. She sounds...disrespectful, to put it mildly!

Glad you've found another pagan you can connect with, though! I'm supposed to meet one next weekend, and I'm very excited!

Logged

The meaning of life is to give life meaning
Go too fast, move too slow
Restore the balance between thinking and feeling
Open up and let it flow

-Ayreon 01011001
circlewatcher
Apprentice
**
Last Login:May 11, 2009, 01:39:33 pm
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Religion: following a lone pagan path
Posts: 22


Blog entries (0)



Ignore
« Reply #14: January 17, 2009, 11:46:51 am »


Glad you've found another pagan you can connect with, though! I'm supposed to meet one next weekend, and I'm very excited!



Yup, you will find it a great relief if its someone you spark with.
Im feeling a lot better for coming on here and meeting you guys!
Logged

bright is the light that guides, dark is the night when the light no longer guides, I am blessed by your wisdom and guidance, never let the dark nights come.

Donor Ad: Become a Silver or Gold Donor to get your ad here.

Tags:
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
  Add bookmark  |  Print  
 
Jump to:  
  Portal   Forum   Help Rules Search Chat (Mux) Articles Login Register   *

* Share this topic...
In a forum
(BBCode)
In a site/blog
(HTML)


Related Topics
Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
How did you name your path? « 1 2 »
Paganism For Beginners
elaoin 22 4771 Last post June 20, 2007, 12:32:39 am
by Aster Breo
Your path « 1 2 »
Teen Pagans SIG
Oakoftheforest 18 4188 Last post September 03, 2007, 04:20:34 pm
by timesarose
Finding your path.... Any path.... « 1 2 3 4 5 »
Social Discussion Boards
GoblynQueene 68 12726 Last post January 18, 2008, 08:18:00 am
by mandrina
Which path to look into??
Paganism For Beginners
Noizetek 7 2259 Last post October 15, 2008, 12:09:29 pm
by Journey
Path Changes « 1 2 »
Paganism For Beginners
Satirna 23 3610 Last post February 10, 2009, 05:44:34 pm
by Sojourner
EU Cookie Notice: This site uses cookies. By using this site you consent to their use.


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2008, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.092 seconds with 48 queries.