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Author Topic: Being alone on your path  (Read 5620 times)
Odjn
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« Reply #15: January 17, 2009, 11:47:07 am »

Quote from: hauntedheart link=topic=7983.msg136135#msg136135



It can be hard, I know. Even though I was not raised in a religious home or even anything resembling spirituality, my father had frequently told me I had the freedom to choose for myself what I wanted as far as spritiuality went. Sounds nice, doesn't it?

Problem was that I realized it was a lie. A few years ago when I started to study Wicca and general paganism, he acted supportive or at least tolerant but I soon learned he basically looked down on me for it. I tried to explain that I am not after a religion nor am I even after "magic" but simply wanted to see spirituality from a different angle than through hard science..and I did not want to read the books he himself was enamoured with which is all the books written by Earnest Norman.

He had even made cracks that I was sitting in my room staring at my crystals all day long or that I was being self absorbed by using the tarot on myself..even when I tried to explain otherwise he had his ideas and no force woill move him from it.

He has his ways but ihas become more and more intolerant and venomous towards anything that resembles "religion". He thinks that his precious Earnest Norman has the scoop..which he doesn't but...sadly my father has not realized this.

Anywhoo..I just refrain from talking about anything that even seems like it is related to anything "religious". It is not bad being alone but it is difficult when you know your family secretly sees you as less than because of it. At least we have forums like E-Cauldron, right?
« Last Edit: January 17, 2009, 05:04:59 pm by RandallS, Reason: Quote BBCode corrected (I hope) » Logged

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circlewatcher
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« Reply #16: January 17, 2009, 03:28:23 pm »

Anywhoo..I just refrain from talking about anything that even seems like it is related to anything "religious". It is not bad being alone but it is difficult when you know your family secretly sees you as less than because of it. At least we have forums like E-Cauldron, right?

A place for like minded people to meet,talk and discuss topics!!
« Last Edit: January 17, 2009, 05:05:45 pm by RandallS, Reason: Quote BBCode corrected (I hope) » Logged

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« Reply #17: January 17, 2009, 11:46:35 pm »

At least we have forums like E-Cauldron, right?

I really want to thank everyone for posting.  It's been a real eye opener for me in many ways.  Although I could never tell my family what I feel spiritually, and I can't be open about it, at least I don't have people harassing me.  Since posting this, I have given all of this a lot of thought.  I was wallowing in self pity that night.  The thing that has occurred to me after mulling it over is, I really don't need anyone to know.  In the end, whether everyone in the world knows or not, It's between me and my deities.  I may never find a group, attend a public ritual, or talk face to face with another human being about how I feel, or what I think, but none of that matters.  What matters is I live my life the best way I know how, and I honor deities the way I should.  At this point we all seem happy with the way things are.  Grin

I'm sorry that some of you have to put up with crap.  Luckily, there is a good place here to at least type at like-minded people. 

HH

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Ghost Queen
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« Reply #18: January 17, 2009, 11:50:19 pm »

I really want to thank everyone for posting.  It's been a real eye opener for me in many ways.  Although I could never tell my family what I feel spiritually, and I can't be open about it, at least I don't have people harassing me.  Since posting this, I have given all of this a lot of thought.  I was wallowing in self pity that night.  The thing that has occurred to me after mulling it over is, I really don't need anyone to know.  In the end, whether everyone in the world knows or not, It's between me and my deities.  I may never find a group, attend a public ritual, or talk face to face with another human being about how I feel, or what I think, but none of that matters.  What matters is I live my life the best way I know how, and I honor deities the way I should.  At this point we all seem happy with the way things are.  Grin

I'm sorry that some of you have to put up with crap.  Luckily, there is a good place here to at least type at like-minded people. 

HH



Don't worry about it. Just because someone else has it worse than you doesn't mean you don't have any business feeling upset about your situation. I'm glad you're feeling better. But I highly doubt anyone will hold what you shared against you.
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realta
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« Reply #19: January 19, 2009, 03:47:30 pm »

Hi all..
Sonething I've been tinking about alot lately, is the frustration I feel being alone on my path.  I'm in the closet (so far back I can see Narnia) with little hope of coming out anytime soon.  Health and finances have made it necessary that hubby, daughter and I live with my folks, who would be intolerant of a pagan.  They are good people, and I have a good realtionship with them, and wouldn't want to risk losing that because I believe differently then they do. 

My husband is pretty much non-religious, and most of my friends are the same. Not having someone who gets what I'm going through, or looking for is frustrating.  I have met one or two people, through random meetings (once in a bookstore in the metaphysical section) but those never really got off the ground.  They seemed more interested in shocking people with their "witchiness".  Hm.

Anyway, I wondered..anyone else have the same frustration?  It's not so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops...I just would love to go to a public ritual, or buy a book I don't have to keep in a drawer.  It would be nice to talk to someone about things that I've gone through in my search...

Sorry if I'm whiny...feel free to slap me.

HH

Merry Meet -
Yes I do know what you are talking about. I am no longer in the closet, but I live in an area where there is a church on every street corner it seems. The Christians DO make life rough but every once in a while it seems like there is a Christian or two who would like to discuss things on an even keel. They love it when I refuse to "down" their view on things. But otherwise life gets kinda lonely.
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« Reply #20: January 19, 2009, 09:58:42 pm »

Merry Meet -
Yes I do know what you are talking about. I am no longer in the closet, but I live in an area where there is a church on every street corner it seems. The Christians DO make life rough but every once in a while it seems like there is a Christian or two who would like to discuss things on an even keel. They love it when I refuse to "down" their view on things. But otherwise life gets kinda lonely.

It does get lonely...But I'm discovering more and more that I don't think I necessarily need others to validate what I believe.  It's highly unlikely that I will ever come out, as my living situation won't be changing anytime soon, and I don't need to screw up my realtionship with my family because I chose a different path.  I'm really ok with it. 

The thing I do think I would love to do is at least witness, or participate in a full ritual.  My life has taken dramatic turns in the last 2 years..who knows..maybe that's a change that's coming down the road too...

Luckily if nothing else, there is a good group here.  I think I've gained more reading here than anywhere. 

HH

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Atheris
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« Reply #21: January 25, 2009, 02:19:46 pm »

Anyway, I wondered..anyone else have the same frustration?  It's not so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops...I just would love to go to a public ritual, or buy a book I don't have to keep in a drawer.  It would be nice to talk to someone about things that I've gone through in my search...

Yes, I'm on the same page as you.  The path I walk is so unused, it is almost totally overgrown.  I walk it alone, a little frightened, but with a strong sense of anticipation. The deity I commune with contacted me 4 years ago through a very vivid dream one night.  She did not identify herself to me and it took me three and a half years to figure out who she is. She is a very old and nearly forgotten deity. Most people confuse her for someone else, but she has told me that she is definitely not "that brazen hussy".  LOL.  Anyways, that is why the path I walk is nearly overgrown, no one has walked it in a very long time.

I live in the woods in east Texas and work in a small town dominated by evangelical churches, so it is very hard to find a fellow Pagan around here. There are some Pagan groups in the larger cities, but they are too far away to connect too.  I cannot talk to my family or friends about my spiritual path, so that just leaves me with myself, my deity, and the internet forums like this one.

Being a Pagan can be very lonely, but also very rewarding.

Peace,
Atheris

« Last Edit: January 25, 2009, 02:33:59 pm by Atheris » Logged
Satirna
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« Reply #22: January 27, 2009, 12:23:07 am »



Myself, I enjoy being solitary, but I enjoy being in touch with other Pagans/Witches to learn more.

To me, it's something that I'm just satisfied with. If it's ever meant for me to gather with others, then so be it, but it isn't time for that now. I believe it's time for me to learn and grow on my own. Smiley I have you all to and many websites and books to learn from... I even enjoy working by myself in class.
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