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Author Topic: Group work and friendship/intimate relationship  (Read 2492 times)
High Adept Member
Last Login:January 02, 2013, 06:41:55 pm
Germany Germany

Religion: polytheistic witch leaning towards Reclaiming
TCN ID: Waldfrau
Posts: 2903

Blog entries (2)


« Reply #4: March 08, 2009, 05:44:42 am »

1) We're pretty clear ourselves about 'our social time' vs. 'group work time' vs 'ritual time'.
I think this kind of transparency is what I would have needed. They were discussing a lot of personal stuff between themselves and I just felt lost in the conversation because I didn't know anything about the people and situations they were talking of. This is what I thought was unprofessional. I know no group will be perfect and I don't have a lot to choose from at the moment, but that's something I don't want to try out again shortly. I think it could work if you already have a stable friendship or if the friendship of  all group members develops gradually, but I won't go into another informal close friends group as a newbie to both the religious practices and their friendship.
2) We're really clear that we don't expect a new potential member to be our good friend right away.
There's two reasons for this: deep friendships take time - but more importantly, a new member of our group is, in almost all cases, also going to be a student - and it's hard to be someone's teacher *and* nurture a new friendship at the same time. So our focus is on building the mentor/student relationship - and over the course of their dedicant year, building the foundation for a friendship as part of that work (assuming everything goes well.)
That's another thing that just went wrong. We all knew that I was a beginner while the other two where working this way for years, but I had trouble to understand what role I was supposed to take, if I was hanging around with friends or studying with teachers. In the end I had the impression that they were also looking down at me in a personal sense and not only because I know less about magic and ritual. So I'm wondering at the moment if a formal hierarchy would be better than an inofficial one, because with the formal one it would be clear to everyone involved where it ends.

My blog: (English and German entries)

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