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Author Topic: The Craft - Getting over uneasiness?  (Read 3911 times)
Marilyn (ABSENTMINDED)
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Last Login:February 06, 2013, 08:12:28 pm
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Religion: free-flowing animist, Dudeist Priest
TCN ID: Absentminded
Posts: 2725


Blog entries (11)


« Reply #15: March 23, 2009, 12:05:18 pm »

just to go all the way with embarassment in an attempt to, peveresly, make it go away.

This is something I tend to do a lot.  Not necessarily nudity, which doesn't particularly embarrass me, but some physical motions and spoken bits.  For me, I was accustomed for a long time to doing everything in my head.  I had mobility issues and would simply visualize (thoroughly and carefully) everything, including what I said.  When I retired my wheelchair and set up to do my first fully physical ritual I came on here for advice translating the mental ritual to a physical one.  I had worries about everything from catching myself on fire to falling into the creek.

I found that I did feel silly speaking and moving, but my path values absurdity, and that tingle I get when making a fool of myself actually helps me feel my way into what I'm doing.  It seems to encourage and combine with the 'other' tingle, the one that happens as things fall into place, powers gather, one knows one is 'heard', etc.  All the various things that have a physical sensation for me, led by the conscious absurdity of putting myself out there.  It is impossible not to be very very aware and hyper-sensitive when one is embarrassed - that awareness transmutes into a kind of receptiveness if I bull through it and just let myself feel foolish. 

The place where embarrassment fades and power takes its place is subtle and hard to pinpoint.  I just know that by the end of every ritual I've forgotten the initial awkwardness and all the odd things have become 'right'.

Absent
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"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard

Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

L Cohen

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