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Author Topic: When you discover Paganism and your kids are tweens/teens  (Read 3939 times)
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Last Login:September 09, 2010, 08:07:55 pm
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Religion: Eclectic Pagan
TCN ID: herbalgoddess13
Posts: 1268

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« Reply #7: May 08, 2009, 11:59:05 am »

Yes.  It can be a very fine line to walk.

I have two daughters, one is 19 and the other is 17.  When they were very little, I was pretty much non-religious -- mostly because I just didn't have the energy to deal with it (small kids, part-time work, grad school, volunteer work, and taking care of my dying grandmother were all I could handle at the time).  Eventually, though, I had to get back to my spirituality and I had a lot of spirituality-related things to work through. 

Daughter2 has been a strong agnostic for many years.  And, although I'm happy to talk to her about religion, and she knows the basics of mine, she's just not interested.  OTOH, she has told me about some of her friends, who she says are "going through their pagan phase".  She usually seems rather proud of the fact that she can speak knowledgeably to them because of what she knows about me.  Apparently, she also gets points for having the coolest mom.   Cool

Daughter1, though, has been interested in paganism -- specifically, religious and non-religious witchcraft, I think -- for a long time.  However she doesn't really want to *talk* about it.  At least, not to me.  Like her sister, she is well aware of the generalities of my path, but she doesn't want to tell me much about hers.  Occasionally, she'll ask me for book/website recommendations.  But that's about it.

I'm really happy to support their religious explorations however I can.  But, since they're both so private about it, I find it very difficult to have those conversations.  I hope they know that they can ask me any questions they want to.

So I guess, in a way, my experience is the opposite of yours.   Cheesy  My kids have made it clear that they don't want me involved in their spirituality, so I don't really have to worry much about being too much of an influence.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me it helps a lot to have another mothers perspective.  My daughter is much like your youngest #2, she's fascinated in what I'm doing/thinking.  She loves to play with my alter and ask me questions, but she has no real interest in participating.  I am a bit concerned right now because she's been talking to all her friends and cousins about Paganism and I get the impression it's more for shock effect than anything else.  Even my son has asked her to stop mentioning it to mutual friends and family because he's just not ready to 'come out' and share it with everyone around him.  I get the feeling she's trying to get attention this way.  Oh, I've got some work to do with her!

Like you, I want toe support their religious exploration.  My daughter is very private too, so I'm stepping back and also reminding her that it took me 40 years to be sure and really start practicing something that felt right to me.  I also assured her that she can always grow and change and her religious beliefs can too. 

Like I said above, I try to keep in mind that I am in a position of power just by being their mother and as you said, it can be a fine line to walk.  I think I just need to keep the lines of communication open and also continue to be aware of what I'm saying and doing.

“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.” ~ Neil Gaiman

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