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Author Topic: Wait for sex, marriage? Evangelicals conflicted.  (Read 7181 times)
Star
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« Reply #15: August 12, 2009, 01:00:31 pm »

Me, I've forbidden any of my daughters (and I have four of them) to marry anyone they haven't even had sex with.  And that's what's best for them individually, knowing my hormone saturated daughters.  Shoot me if you thing that's immoral.  

I'm not going to shoot you and I don't think it's immoral per se, but...  Please understand that it's the general theory of the thing I'm trying to address here, and not your personal parenting choices.  That said, I'm a little unclear about how the stance you describe is all that different from forbidding sex before marriage.  In both cases, there's this directive regarding sex handed down from the parent to the child.  It seems like the same thing at the opposite end of the spectrum, to me.  Huh
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« Reply #16: July 18, 2010, 06:52:56 pm »

I'm not going to shoot you and I don't think it's immoral per se, but...  Please understand that it's the general theory of the thing I'm trying to address here, and not your personal parenting choices.  That said, I'm a little unclear about how the stance you describe is all that different from forbidding sex before marriage.  In both cases, there's this directive regarding sex handed down from the parent to the child.  It seems like the same thing at the opposite end of the spectrum, to me.  Huh

Hmm, what I got from deFafnyr was more of a rejection of the "sex is evil" way of thinking that is prevalent among some Christians. A big difference is sex is natural. It's something that we, and every other creature, are hardwired to want. As long as safe practices are used with maturity and ethics, I don't see the big problem.

What I find stranger, is that many Christians can't show me where in the bible it says sex before marriage is a sin. They cite the use of the word "fornication", but that definition as used in the past in unclear and not specific to pre marital sex. The bible also doesn't use that word to describe some scenarios that are clearly pre marital sex. In the scenarios where an unmarried man lies with an unmarried woman, the punishment isn't damnation for a sin, it's the man paying the father money and then marrying the woman. Basically paying for the amount he would have gotten for a virgin. To me, that says: do it, but be prepared to pay for it. Wink

Even if I was convinced that pre marital sex was condemned by the bible, I wouldn't exactly use a book that clearly didn't condemn other sexual acts such as one instance of incest and several rapes. (which both happen many times in other religious texts/myths) It seems to me, many people use religious texts literally when it's convenient and figuratively when it's not. I had a teacher who pretty much wanted a standing ovation when she married her husband without so much as a kiss because the bible says it's "immoral", but when I cite that the bible is also against women teachers, she was quick to say it was written in a different time. Hey, if I knew you could bend an organized religion to reflect your opinions I would have stuck with it.  Grin
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« Reply #17: July 18, 2010, 07:46:26 pm »

I have, however, requested of the one that I have had this discussion with, that she wait until she is out of high school.  Why? Because not everyone uses birth control successfully, and the results still weigh most heavily on the girl.  She's talking military academy as a possibility, and having been pregnant or having gotten someone pregnant, even if the chid is given up for adoption or aborted, does not help with admittance there.

And so now I discover that she hasn't waited.  At least I don't think she's pregnant yet, they've been using protection, but I suspect she's caught something.  She's on a three week hiking trip in the mountains, but I;m making the appointment tomorrow with the Gyn, for the first weekday after she comes back for her first pap, and what ever tests they need to do for her symtoms, and have her have a talk with the np about what she's doing, cause I just can't deal with that talk.  And this is the boyfriend we don't like.

Augh
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« Reply #18: July 18, 2010, 08:59:21 pm »

Wait for sex, marriage? Evangelicals conflicted
Church urges them to marry young while others say hold off on wedding

"It's unreasonable to say, 'Don't do anything ... and wait until you have degrees and you're in your 30s to get married,'" said Margie Zumbrun, who did wait for sex, and married Stephen fresh out of Purdue University. "I think that's just inviting people to have sex and feel like they're bad people for doing it."


I'm colored by my own feelings of discrimination of what state of existence and biological structure gives a being a soul in this case.

If sex is a natural urge, as shown by other forms of life, then how can a human be spiritually damned or damaged for engaging in it   Why should humans be the only species to have to go through a ritual sanctifying their intercourse if it is natural?

Responsibility and social awareness in engagement being the prerogative of a civil society not a spiritual one.

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« Reply #19: July 18, 2010, 09:02:42 pm »


Me, I've forbidden any of my daughters (and I have four of them) to marry anyone they haven't even had sex with.  And that's what's best for them individually, knowing my hormone saturated daughters.  Shoot me if you thing that's immoral.  Sex is important.  Too often women get the short end of the ...er...stick.  

Until I've had a serious talk with my daughter about masturbation and womens pleasure and why it's better to wait until a guy is capable of giving physical pleasure rather than just co-dependency I will be very against her getting exclusive with any guy at a certain time in life.

If females waited till they were seeking orgasm rather than acceptance before having sex, things might work a little differently.
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I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside.
-LIz Pahir
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« Reply #20: July 18, 2010, 10:51:19 pm »

And so now I discover that she hasn't waited.  At least I don't think she's pregnant yet, they've been using protection, but I suspect she's caught something.  She's on a three week hiking trip in the mountains, but I;m making the appointment tomorrow with the Gyn, for the first weekday after she comes back for her first pap, and what ever tests they need to do for her symtoms, and have her have a talk with the np about what she's doing, cause I just can't deal with that talk.  And this is the boyfriend we don't like.

Augh

Oh dear.  My sympathies.
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« Reply #21: July 18, 2010, 11:03:56 pm »

And so now I discover that she hasn't waited.  At least I don't think she's pregnant yet, they've been using protection, but I suspect she's caught something.  She's on a three week hiking trip in the mountains, but I;m making the appointment tomorrow with the Gyn, for the first weekday after she comes back for her first pap, and what ever tests they need to do for her symtoms, and have her have a talk with the np about what she's doing, cause I just can't deal with that talk.  And this is the boyfriend we don't like.

Augh

{{{Mandrina}}} I'm sorry to hear this, sweeetie
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